Month 9:
1. You are too much fun this month. You are super active like your daddy and love to roll around under my skin in my tummy. Its a weird feeling but me and Daddy love to sit and feel you move around.
2. Your room is DONE... Well, except for the awesome wall quote that your awesome Aunt Tiffany ordered for you. She's the best.
3. I ordered you a picture book last night of all of the fun adventures that me and Daddy have been on since you moved into my belly. It's going to be the extra most awesomest thing you ever had cause when you're older and Mom and Dad are really older, you'll be able to look at it and be like, aww, my parents used to be young. I also like it cause you'll be able to see that when I'm old and round and I tell you stories about how skinny I used to be, you'll have proof.
4. Yesterday was 4 official weeks from your due date. Mommy officially waddles and Daddy officially loves it.
5. We've had our Christmas tree up and house lit up like the Griswold's for a few weeks. All of our presents are bought and wrapped for this year and this past weekend we had TWO parties at our house. So now, all of our work is done and we get to just relax for the rest of the month.
6. By relaxing I mean go everywhere for a million parties and other Christmas related obligations. Not to mention that this week is my first weekly exam at the doctor. I'm not looking forward to the invasive exams and all the labor and delivery and pushing and stuff so you just better be cute. ;)
7. I have decided that you're birthday should be January 2, 2010 (1/2/12-How cute is that?) And that you should weigh 7lbs and 6oz. Me and God have been talking about it and I told Him that this is my preference but whatever He thinks is best is fine with me. We shall see what He decides.
8. Daddy and I have been doing a lot of planning. We've been picking out your hospital outfits-because you HAVE to look like a star when people come to meet you. I've been washing all of your clothes and blankets. And we've been organizing your room exactly how we want it.
9. I finally finished ALL of our Thank You and Christmas cards and now they pretty much just have to be given out or mailed. This was no easy task considering that we had around 70 Thank yous to give you. I'm NOT complaining though. We're real blessed, me and you. Lots of people love us.
10. I think that tonight when Daddy gets home we're going to install the carseat into his truck...just in case you decide to show up early. This is super exciting for us and just makes you much more real. Hurry on up. We can't wait to meet ya!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Goodbye 2011/Hello 2012
We have a million billion things going on around the Odom house this December. Then its GOODBYE 2011 and HELLO 2012!
We're kicking off the last month of this year with a whole week of Josh being off work. We don't have any big vacation plans, just staying home, lounging around, and watching a lot of Christmas movies together under the covers while it gets colder outside. Our decorations are all up except for a little section of lights that Josh has to finish on the outside of the house (maybe tomorrow if its not raining) but I must say our tree looks FABULOUS! :)
Next weekend we're going to go get ALL of our Christmas shopping done. ALL. As in, we're not coming home until we have a gift for everyone on the list. I HATE waiting until the last minute! We've planned a trip to Birmingham on Friday or Saturday so we should be able to get it all done that day. Then I'm going to wrap it all and get in under the tree so that I can sit back and relax while everyone else goes crazy shopping in the weeks before Christmas! :)
This is also our last week off from the doctors office. Starting next week its an appointment each week. I'm not looking forward to that but I am excited that it means that we're SO close to our little man getting here!
With all that we have going on in December, I am sure its going to fly by. I just can't wait to finally get to Christmas knowing that our baby will more than likely be born the very next week! For the most part my pregnancy has been easy for me and I feel really blessed for that. Although I am officially in the final stages now where everything seems to hurt, none of my clothes fit, and I feel like a walking swollen up balloon! I am looking forward to EVERY aspect of this baby coming, including not being pregnant anymore! We just can't wait to hold him in our arms for the first time and begin our life as a family of three.
December also means the end of another year. This year didn't start great for me. Then it got worse. Then it got a WHOLE lot worse. Then it got better. Then it got WAY better. But the one thing I know for sure as this year winds down and I get ready to begin a new year of my life, God used this year to change me. To make me 10 times the person I was in so many ways. And then he gave me two of the most amazing blessings God gives to people.
I am sure I will look back on this year for the rest of my life as some of the happiest moments and some of the saddest moments I will ever experience. But no matter what happens to me from here, I know that I will carry with me what I've learned this year. That God loves me. That He is in control. That He wants me to place Him first in my life. That He will always lead me through His word. That He is capable of SO much more than I could possibly imagine. That if I can truly let go and allow Him to be the central focus of my life in every way, He will fill me with an everlasting joy and peace that is exactly what Christmas is all about. That is what me and my family will celebrate this December.
We're kicking off the last month of this year with a whole week of Josh being off work. We don't have any big vacation plans, just staying home, lounging around, and watching a lot of Christmas movies together under the covers while it gets colder outside. Our decorations are all up except for a little section of lights that Josh has to finish on the outside of the house (maybe tomorrow if its not raining) but I must say our tree looks FABULOUS! :)
Next weekend we're going to go get ALL of our Christmas shopping done. ALL. As in, we're not coming home until we have a gift for everyone on the list. I HATE waiting until the last minute! We've planned a trip to Birmingham on Friday or Saturday so we should be able to get it all done that day. Then I'm going to wrap it all and get in under the tree so that I can sit back and relax while everyone else goes crazy shopping in the weeks before Christmas! :)
This is also our last week off from the doctors office. Starting next week its an appointment each week. I'm not looking forward to that but I am excited that it means that we're SO close to our little man getting here!
With all that we have going on in December, I am sure its going to fly by. I just can't wait to finally get to Christmas knowing that our baby will more than likely be born the very next week! For the most part my pregnancy has been easy for me and I feel really blessed for that. Although I am officially in the final stages now where everything seems to hurt, none of my clothes fit, and I feel like a walking swollen up balloon! I am looking forward to EVERY aspect of this baby coming, including not being pregnant anymore! We just can't wait to hold him in our arms for the first time and begin our life as a family of three.
December also means the end of another year. This year didn't start great for me. Then it got worse. Then it got a WHOLE lot worse. Then it got better. Then it got WAY better. But the one thing I know for sure as this year winds down and I get ready to begin a new year of my life, God used this year to change me. To make me 10 times the person I was in so many ways. And then he gave me two of the most amazing blessings God gives to people.
I am sure I will look back on this year for the rest of my life as some of the happiest moments and some of the saddest moments I will ever experience. But no matter what happens to me from here, I know that I will carry with me what I've learned this year. That God loves me. That He is in control. That He wants me to place Him first in my life. That He will always lead me through His word. That He is capable of SO much more than I could possibly imagine. That if I can truly let go and allow Him to be the central focus of my life in every way, He will fill me with an everlasting joy and peace that is exactly what Christmas is all about. That is what me and my family will celebrate this December.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Marriage
Marriage:
Definition-(a)the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
(b)any close or intimate association or union
Synonyms- blend, merger, unity, oneness; alliance
Antonyms- separation, division, disunion
God makes the roles of the husband and the wife so clear in the Bible. We should never have to question what our marriage should be.
Wives:
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:24
Husbands:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25
These guidelines for living as a married person are strict and are stated many times in the New Testament. God makes it clear that He wants a wife to be submissive unto her husband in the same way that we as believers are supposed to be submissibe unto Christ. He also makes it clear that husbands are supposed to love and protect their wives in the same way that Jesus loves and protects his church of believes.
It is so clear in the Word of God that God has TWO marriages that we are to be faithful to. (TWO if we are married physically on this earth to another person. One of we are not.)
--The first and more important marriage of the two is our marriage to Christ. We as believers are active members of the body of Christ. His church. His bride.
And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. Revelation 21:2
Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. Revelation 19:7
God then uses the rest of His Word including His commandments and laws to tell us what our role in this marriage is.
--The second marriage is our earthly marriage to another person. God blesses us by allowing us to unite with another person and become as one during our time on earth. He sets specific guidelines including those verses in Ephesians to show us exactly what our roles are to be in that marriage as well. God never leaves any stone unturned. He always blesses us with specific instructions on how to stay in His will.
Something that I find striking is that the first and foremost antonym of marriage is seperation. This rings true not only in our physical marriage but in our spiritual one also. To be a believer is to be united with Christ. If a person dies without ever having come to Christ, they will live in eternal seperation from Him. Likewise, if a believer dies, his eternal reward is eternal life in the presence of the Almighty God.
Definition-(a)the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
(b)any close or intimate association or union
Synonyms- blend, merger, unity, oneness; alliance
Antonyms- separation, division, disunion
God makes the roles of the husband and the wife so clear in the Bible. We should never have to question what our marriage should be.
Wives:
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:24
Husbands:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25
These guidelines for living as a married person are strict and are stated many times in the New Testament. God makes it clear that He wants a wife to be submissive unto her husband in the same way that we as believers are supposed to be submissibe unto Christ. He also makes it clear that husbands are supposed to love and protect their wives in the same way that Jesus loves and protects his church of believes.
It is so clear in the Word of God that God has TWO marriages that we are to be faithful to. (TWO if we are married physically on this earth to another person. One of we are not.)
--The first and more important marriage of the two is our marriage to Christ. We as believers are active members of the body of Christ. His church. His bride.
And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. Revelation 21:2
Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. Revelation 19:7
God then uses the rest of His Word including His commandments and laws to tell us what our role in this marriage is.
--The second marriage is our earthly marriage to another person. God blesses us by allowing us to unite with another person and become as one during our time on earth. He sets specific guidelines including those verses in Ephesians to show us exactly what our roles are to be in that marriage as well. God never leaves any stone unturned. He always blesses us with specific instructions on how to stay in His will.
Something that I find striking is that the first and foremost antonym of marriage is seperation. This rings true not only in our physical marriage but in our spiritual one also. To be a believer is to be united with Christ. If a person dies without ever having come to Christ, they will live in eternal seperation from Him. Likewise, if a believer dies, his eternal reward is eternal life in the presence of the Almighty God.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
76 days and everything in between
4 days until the Halloween Party where Josh, baby, and me will be Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3 (Coming Soon).
12 days until my very first baby shower. Baby and I couldn't be more excited about this. :)
19 days until baby shower number two... Equally exciting!
25 days until the Auburn Homecoming game that we will be attending.
30 days until Thanksgiving.
31 days until the ROCKETTES! :)
32 days until the start of Josh's whole entire week off of work.
54 days until the Christmas Musical
61 days until Christmas
68 days until 2012
76 days until Baby Jack is due to make his grand entrance into the world.
12 days until my very first baby shower. Baby and I couldn't be more excited about this. :)
19 days until baby shower number two... Equally exciting!
25 days until the Auburn Homecoming game that we will be attending.
30 days until Thanksgiving.
31 days until the ROCKETTES! :)
32 days until the start of Josh's whole entire week off of work.
54 days until the Christmas Musical
61 days until Christmas
68 days until 2012
76 days until Baby Jack is due to make his grand entrance into the world.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Lemons full of gunpowder
We've all heard the saying, "When life gives you lemons..."
Well, I guess this saying is appropriate for some situations, like maybe when you spill coffee on yourself on your way to work, or you get a ticket because you we're driving too fast when you're late to something important and then the whole being pulled over thing makes you even later than you would have been...
But what about when you're going through something more serious and the whole "lemons" saying just doesn't quite cut it?
Sometimes it can feel more like the devil himself is chunking lemons full of gunpowder directly at your head that subsequently explode on contact and leave you in a smokey haze wondering what in the world just happened and where do you go from here.
Yea, those are definitely the words of someone who has been there. Recently.
All I can say is that I am so thankful in the wake of each of my recent exploding lemons kinda days that I have a God who always shows up for me.
What exactly does she mean by exploding lemons, one might inquire.
Well, I'll tell ya. Your lemons are specific to your particular situation. They are representative of whatever it is that is plaguing your life and stealing your joy.
You know, when you are struggling with something and you feel like you're almost free and maybe, just maybe the devil has moved on and given up on your and then suddenly, without warning, WHAP! You're hit right between the eyes with a big fat exploding lemon. You didn't even see it coming. Yuck.
The real questions here is, how to we make the throwing and the exploding stop? How do we get away from the devil when we know he has really good aim and one heck of a throwing arm?
The only answer that I can give that really makes any sense at all is to get into the Word of God....and I don't just mean flip your big dusty Bible open and read whatever is on the page. I'm not saying you can't do that, you can. I'm just saying that if you want to truly defeat the devil and find real and lasting peace from his persistent effort to drown you in your lemon juice, you're going to have to really throw down with him. Look him in the eye and speak the Word of God with a trusting heart, knowing that you're speaking scripture that God ordained for your situation.
How do I know what scripture is ordained for me? That sounds complicated.
Good question, my friend. Let me just tell you about what happened to me.
For a long time, I didn't spend any time at all in the word of God because I didn't understand it. I would try to read it but then I would get all ADD and lose my train of thought because it was just boring. Then one day, I got hit in the face with a big dumb lemon and then felt myself being led to open my Bible (or a book called Battlefield of the Mind which was a scripture based and filled, life-altering book that everyone should read) and suddenly the Holy Spirit began to show me just how amazing the word of God really is. Suddenly every single story, verse and parable related to my life and what had happened to me. I understood the words of God and my hunger for more began to ignite and grow. Each time I opened my Bible, I found a new revelation about how gracious, forgiving, loving, accepting, and just plain amazing our God is. How no matter what kind of lemons were coming at me, He wouldn't let them take me down. He was fighting for me. He had a plan...and even though I couldn't see it then, and sometimes can't even see it now, He gave me the most steadfast assurance in deepest place in my spirit that He had a plan, and I was going to be ok.
Well, that covers one step, but we're far from done. Getting into the word is only a part of what you have to do if you want real freedom from satan's grip.
Another piece of the puzzle, and I would say the most important, is that you have got to train yourself to trust God, even when its hard.
See, God, although indefinitely gracious and loving, doesn't always do it the way that you might want. He has a plan. His plan. Not your plan that He works out for you. You have to remind yourself that He knows so much more than we could possibly ever know and that His plan is what is best, even if it doesn't seem that way to you. Oh, sometimes this part can be a real tough pill to swallow. Believe me, I've been there. It's easy to get mad at God when things don't go your way. But if you can find it within yourself to muster up the strength and courage that it takes to truly and completely trust God no matter where he takes you, or how long it takes to get there... Then you will truly be set free.
It won't be easy. I promise.
Trust is hard to come by. Especially when we are so certain that its our life and we know whats best. But if you can get there, you will be more free than you've ever been in your life because you'll come to a place where you can look in the mirror and in complete honesty you can say that no matter what, even if God takes you down the one road that you really really don't want to go down, you have Him and He has a plan and therefore, You. Will. Be. Ok.
..And when you get there and lift your hands toward God and watch the chains of your fear fall to the ground, you'll look back at your former self, who is huddled in the corner of a dark room holding onto a bucket full of "what-ifs" and "I-needs" and you'll see the demons that you were clinging onto and you'll realize that the devil HAS to flee when you tell him to in the name of Jesus Christ. He has to put down his box of lemon-grinades and leave the room and shut the door behind him. Because God is SO much bigger than he could ever dream of being and because God has already won the victory over you. You are the only one holding you back. God is waiting patiently for you to stand up, turn on the light, throw down your bucket, and lift your hands to Him. But if you want that real, true freedom, you HAVE to trust. Period.
Now, I know you're wondering where exactly do I get off telling you all about how to fix your big dumb problem. Maybe you're reading thing thinking that I've got it all together and have the whole trust in God thing totally down. Well, if that's what you're thinking, please guess again. I really genuinely wrote this post for me. Earlier today the devil hit me with a big ugly exploding lemon and in the moment of my emotion, I thought it was going to take me down. Then someone reminded me that he can't do that. The devil can't take me down. The only way I'll go down is if I choose to. and I don't.
Like I said before, trusting God will not always be easy. Sure, it will be peachy when life is giving you nothing but flowers and sunshine, but when the lemons begin to fall into your lap, you're going to need a firm foundation to fall back onto if you want to be able to stand and not fall. Life can get real heavy sometimes. The key to surviving those times and finding your way back to the flowers and sunshine is knowing in your heart that God and God alone is the rock. No person, job, hobby, etc. can fill that void. Only He can keep you standing. And also know that no matter what happens to you, He has a plan and a purpose for all things, good and bad. They are all worked together to do the greatest amount of good for His kingdom and for you. You will NOT always understand and you probably won't always agree, but you have to always trust. Just be still and know that God is God. Lemons or no lemons.
Well, I guess this saying is appropriate for some situations, like maybe when you spill coffee on yourself on your way to work, or you get a ticket because you we're driving too fast when you're late to something important and then the whole being pulled over thing makes you even later than you would have been...
But what about when you're going through something more serious and the whole "lemons" saying just doesn't quite cut it?
Sometimes it can feel more like the devil himself is chunking lemons full of gunpowder directly at your head that subsequently explode on contact and leave you in a smokey haze wondering what in the world just happened and where do you go from here.
Yea, those are definitely the words of someone who has been there. Recently.
All I can say is that I am so thankful in the wake of each of my recent exploding lemons kinda days that I have a God who always shows up for me.
What exactly does she mean by exploding lemons, one might inquire.
Well, I'll tell ya. Your lemons are specific to your particular situation. They are representative of whatever it is that is plaguing your life and stealing your joy.
You know, when you are struggling with something and you feel like you're almost free and maybe, just maybe the devil has moved on and given up on your and then suddenly, without warning, WHAP! You're hit right between the eyes with a big fat exploding lemon. You didn't even see it coming. Yuck.
The real questions here is, how to we make the throwing and the exploding stop? How do we get away from the devil when we know he has really good aim and one heck of a throwing arm?
The only answer that I can give that really makes any sense at all is to get into the Word of God....and I don't just mean flip your big dusty Bible open and read whatever is on the page. I'm not saying you can't do that, you can. I'm just saying that if you want to truly defeat the devil and find real and lasting peace from his persistent effort to drown you in your lemon juice, you're going to have to really throw down with him. Look him in the eye and speak the Word of God with a trusting heart, knowing that you're speaking scripture that God ordained for your situation.
How do I know what scripture is ordained for me? That sounds complicated.
Good question, my friend. Let me just tell you about what happened to me.
For a long time, I didn't spend any time at all in the word of God because I didn't understand it. I would try to read it but then I would get all ADD and lose my train of thought because it was just boring. Then one day, I got hit in the face with a big dumb lemon and then felt myself being led to open my Bible (or a book called Battlefield of the Mind which was a scripture based and filled, life-altering book that everyone should read) and suddenly the Holy Spirit began to show me just how amazing the word of God really is. Suddenly every single story, verse and parable related to my life and what had happened to me. I understood the words of God and my hunger for more began to ignite and grow. Each time I opened my Bible, I found a new revelation about how gracious, forgiving, loving, accepting, and just plain amazing our God is. How no matter what kind of lemons were coming at me, He wouldn't let them take me down. He was fighting for me. He had a plan...and even though I couldn't see it then, and sometimes can't even see it now, He gave me the most steadfast assurance in deepest place in my spirit that He had a plan, and I was going to be ok.
Well, that covers one step, but we're far from done. Getting into the word is only a part of what you have to do if you want real freedom from satan's grip.
Another piece of the puzzle, and I would say the most important, is that you have got to train yourself to trust God, even when its hard.
See, God, although indefinitely gracious and loving, doesn't always do it the way that you might want. He has a plan. His plan. Not your plan that He works out for you. You have to remind yourself that He knows so much more than we could possibly ever know and that His plan is what is best, even if it doesn't seem that way to you. Oh, sometimes this part can be a real tough pill to swallow. Believe me, I've been there. It's easy to get mad at God when things don't go your way. But if you can find it within yourself to muster up the strength and courage that it takes to truly and completely trust God no matter where he takes you, or how long it takes to get there... Then you will truly be set free.
It won't be easy. I promise.
Trust is hard to come by. Especially when we are so certain that its our life and we know whats best. But if you can get there, you will be more free than you've ever been in your life because you'll come to a place where you can look in the mirror and in complete honesty you can say that no matter what, even if God takes you down the one road that you really really don't want to go down, you have Him and He has a plan and therefore, You. Will. Be. Ok.
..And when you get there and lift your hands toward God and watch the chains of your fear fall to the ground, you'll look back at your former self, who is huddled in the corner of a dark room holding onto a bucket full of "what-ifs" and "I-needs" and you'll see the demons that you were clinging onto and you'll realize that the devil HAS to flee when you tell him to in the name of Jesus Christ. He has to put down his box of lemon-grinades and leave the room and shut the door behind him. Because God is SO much bigger than he could ever dream of being and because God has already won the victory over you. You are the only one holding you back. God is waiting patiently for you to stand up, turn on the light, throw down your bucket, and lift your hands to Him. But if you want that real, true freedom, you HAVE to trust. Period.
Now, I know you're wondering where exactly do I get off telling you all about how to fix your big dumb problem. Maybe you're reading thing thinking that I've got it all together and have the whole trust in God thing totally down. Well, if that's what you're thinking, please guess again. I really genuinely wrote this post for me. Earlier today the devil hit me with a big ugly exploding lemon and in the moment of my emotion, I thought it was going to take me down. Then someone reminded me that he can't do that. The devil can't take me down. The only way I'll go down is if I choose to. and I don't.
Like I said before, trusting God will not always be easy. Sure, it will be peachy when life is giving you nothing but flowers and sunshine, but when the lemons begin to fall into your lap, you're going to need a firm foundation to fall back onto if you want to be able to stand and not fall. Life can get real heavy sometimes. The key to surviving those times and finding your way back to the flowers and sunshine is knowing in your heart that God and God alone is the rock. No person, job, hobby, etc. can fill that void. Only He can keep you standing. And also know that no matter what happens to you, He has a plan and a purpose for all things, good and bad. They are all worked together to do the greatest amount of good for His kingdom and for you. You will NOT always understand and you probably won't always agree, but you have to always trust. Just be still and know that God is God. Lemons or no lemons.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Making an impact
I believe that when God does something miraculous in your life, you should share it. I believe that everything that happens to us in this life has a distinct purpose, not only for us, but for all others who could possibly be influenced by our circumstances and the roads that we choose to take.
So then, I guess what I'm saying is that we should count it not only a responsibility as a believer but also a blessing that God gives us the opportunity on a pretty regular basis to have an impact on those around us.
I find myself asking God quite often to use me. I never really know how or when but I know that God has a purpose for me. I guess I always assume that He's going to give me some platform where I can be used to reach people for His kingdom. That would be fabulous and I would love nothing more, however, lately I have felt Him pressing on my heart the idea that He doesn't always need for His children to be standing in front of rooms full of people. Sometimes where He really needs us the most is right where we are.
God recently opened my eyes to the fact that I really do have an influence on the people in my life. When God allows one of His children to experience a difficult time in their life, He undoubtedly uses that situation to make them better, stronger followers. But what if He also uses that situation to allow them to be used to do work for His kingdom?
When you experience a rough spot in life, you tend to get thrust into the spotlight. Not because the people in your life want to put your hurt on display, but the opposite actually. They want to help you, check on you, make you better. So, you start to get more phone calls, more visits, more interaction with the people in your life. They watch you to make sure you're ok. They listen to you ramble on and on about your hurt. They give you advice. They wipe your tears. They tell you it will all be ok, even if they're not sure it will. That's what family is for.
Then, after all of the advice from every different opinion, they watch to see which road you choose. Do you take the advice that says to pray? Do you take the advice that says to move on with your life? Do you take the advice that says to go this way? Or that way? No doubt everyone doesn't have the same advice. It can be confusing for sure. After all, all of these people who love you so much just want to tell you what they think is the absolute BEST way to go. They want to see you happy, to see you smile again.
In the end, you are left with a choice. Which road to take....
You will ultimately take the road that is best for you. Some people will be happy with your choice. You followed their advice. Others will be disappointed that you didn't do what they thought you should do. Others still will be certain that you've made a mistake and they will be the first to tell you. Remember, all of them love you. They want you to be happy...and we ALL think we're right most of the time.
I digress.
Back to the point...
What I am trying to say is that whatever road you choose in the end... The people who watched you go through the trial in your life will now watch you attempt to find your way back to peace. And this is where God can really use you if you are willing.
In moments of weakness and sadness, we all fall down. We all make mistakes. We all struggle to find the right way to handle our new circumstances. Its where we end up and how we get there that truly matters.
If we choose to follow God and see this thing through to the others side, accepting the fact that the outcome might not be exactly what we would have chosen for ourselves but will certainly be what God has chosen for us, then we are given the opportunity to show the people in our lives what it truly means to trust God. No matter what.
Its easy to say that we trust God when life is rosy. But we only get the opportunity to truly put that trust on display for others to see when we experience a trial that puts our lives and our choices on display also. The people who know and love you the most in the world get to see which road you choose first hand. Some of them will agree, others will disagree. But in the end what matters is that YOU made the choice not based on what was going to make you "happy", but you made it based on the fact that you know that God is a loving God and He wants you to be happy, therefore whatever it is that He has for you has to be good. You can trust him.
In my experience, I learned that trusting God was a lot easier said than done. Trusting God meant that I had to step outside of my comfort zone and tell God that even if He didn't give me what I was asking for, I would accept that and try to find peace because I trust that His plan is what is best for me.
The easy road would have been to pray every night for God to give me what I wanted...and sometimes I did. However, I had to get to a place where I could honestly tell God that even if I didn't get what I wanted, I was still going to be ok because I know that He loves me and His plan is what I want for me. His plan is what is best for me. Oddly enough, it seems that getting to that place was really what God's goal was for me all along. It wasn't as much about the end result as it was about the journey. God wanted me to totally surrender to Him. When I finally did (after a lot of struggle) He answered my prayers in a BIG way. He gave me the understanding that even when things don't go my way, as long as He is first in my life, I will be fine. There is no reason to worry or fear the unknown.
By no means am I saying that I've mastered that trust yet. I'm a work in progress. But it feels so good to know that my little life is in the hands of a mighty savior.
So then, I guess what I'm saying is that we should count it not only a responsibility as a believer but also a blessing that God gives us the opportunity on a pretty regular basis to have an impact on those around us.
I find myself asking God quite often to use me. I never really know how or when but I know that God has a purpose for me. I guess I always assume that He's going to give me some platform where I can be used to reach people for His kingdom. That would be fabulous and I would love nothing more, however, lately I have felt Him pressing on my heart the idea that He doesn't always need for His children to be standing in front of rooms full of people. Sometimes where He really needs us the most is right where we are.
God recently opened my eyes to the fact that I really do have an influence on the people in my life. When God allows one of His children to experience a difficult time in their life, He undoubtedly uses that situation to make them better, stronger followers. But what if He also uses that situation to allow them to be used to do work for His kingdom?
When you experience a rough spot in life, you tend to get thrust into the spotlight. Not because the people in your life want to put your hurt on display, but the opposite actually. They want to help you, check on you, make you better. So, you start to get more phone calls, more visits, more interaction with the people in your life. They watch you to make sure you're ok. They listen to you ramble on and on about your hurt. They give you advice. They wipe your tears. They tell you it will all be ok, even if they're not sure it will. That's what family is for.
Then, after all of the advice from every different opinion, they watch to see which road you choose. Do you take the advice that says to pray? Do you take the advice that says to move on with your life? Do you take the advice that says to go this way? Or that way? No doubt everyone doesn't have the same advice. It can be confusing for sure. After all, all of these people who love you so much just want to tell you what they think is the absolute BEST way to go. They want to see you happy, to see you smile again.
In the end, you are left with a choice. Which road to take....
You will ultimately take the road that is best for you. Some people will be happy with your choice. You followed their advice. Others will be disappointed that you didn't do what they thought you should do. Others still will be certain that you've made a mistake and they will be the first to tell you. Remember, all of them love you. They want you to be happy...and we ALL think we're right most of the time.
I digress.
Back to the point...
What I am trying to say is that whatever road you choose in the end... The people who watched you go through the trial in your life will now watch you attempt to find your way back to peace. And this is where God can really use you if you are willing.
In moments of weakness and sadness, we all fall down. We all make mistakes. We all struggle to find the right way to handle our new circumstances. Its where we end up and how we get there that truly matters.
If we choose to follow God and see this thing through to the others side, accepting the fact that the outcome might not be exactly what we would have chosen for ourselves but will certainly be what God has chosen for us, then we are given the opportunity to show the people in our lives what it truly means to trust God. No matter what.
Its easy to say that we trust God when life is rosy. But we only get the opportunity to truly put that trust on display for others to see when we experience a trial that puts our lives and our choices on display also. The people who know and love you the most in the world get to see which road you choose first hand. Some of them will agree, others will disagree. But in the end what matters is that YOU made the choice not based on what was going to make you "happy", but you made it based on the fact that you know that God is a loving God and He wants you to be happy, therefore whatever it is that He has for you has to be good. You can trust him.
In my experience, I learned that trusting God was a lot easier said than done. Trusting God meant that I had to step outside of my comfort zone and tell God that even if He didn't give me what I was asking for, I would accept that and try to find peace because I trust that His plan is what is best for me.
The easy road would have been to pray every night for God to give me what I wanted...and sometimes I did. However, I had to get to a place where I could honestly tell God that even if I didn't get what I wanted, I was still going to be ok because I know that He loves me and His plan is what I want for me. His plan is what is best for me. Oddly enough, it seems that getting to that place was really what God's goal was for me all along. It wasn't as much about the end result as it was about the journey. God wanted me to totally surrender to Him. When I finally did (after a lot of struggle) He answered my prayers in a BIG way. He gave me the understanding that even when things don't go my way, as long as He is first in my life, I will be fine. There is no reason to worry or fear the unknown.
By no means am I saying that I've mastered that trust yet. I'm a work in progress. But it feels so good to know that my little life is in the hands of a mighty savior.
Friday, August 26, 2011
When trusting God is easier said than done...
It can be really hard sometimes, especially when you've been hurt.. to give your heart to God so completely that it means letting your guard down. Just simply trusting that HE is capable of holding you... not letting you fall down again.
And even if you trust completely that He is capable, how do you trust that He will, knowing that His plan isn't always the same as our plan.
Do you ever just want to say, "God, can you please just do it my way for a while?"
--This is exactly where I found myself this morning. When scary feelings come to the surface and settle in that irritating place just under my skin, I often find myself in tears asking God to let it be my way for a while.
Now, on the one hand, I know that God's plan is best for me overall because His plan makes me the best servant I can be for His kingdom and that is the ultimate goal; however, what if His plan means that I have to go through more heartache. I'm too scared.
Welcome to my home. It sits directly between a big scary rock and a stupid-looking hard place.
-The rock being my overwhelming desire to live in God's will for me...The big scary part being the part where I have to accept that sometimes God's will might land me in a heap of heartache.
-The hard place being my desire to have a little peace in my life and to just relax for a while. To put my oversized bag of worries and fears in the closet or under the bed and forget that they're there for a while. The stupid-looking part being the part where I see myself creating all these fears and worries out of thin air and yet I stand helplessly unable to stop myself.
And though there are many days where I am certain that I am the lone occupant of this unwelcoming home, my logical side tells me that everyone has their own battle to face. Mine just seems extra big to me because its ALL mine.
I share my story with you to tell you that sometimes God doesn't work in BIG magical miracles. Sometimes He just plops down on the couch next to you and says "Stop being stupid...If you don't like where you home is, move it." Then like the gracious God that He truly is, He also says, "I'll help you. After all, I can move mountains*, you're house really isn't that big."
Man was I being silly. What was I doing? Wasting my whole morning on stupid tears. I was putting on a lovely show for the devil. I'll bet he had a great morning sitting on my couch with me, with a big bucket of popcorn.
Well, sorry to disappoint, stupid devil, but my show is over, and you're being thrown out. See ya.
Like always, my God turned my chin back up to Him and reminded me that no matter what, I'm always safe in His arms. NO ONE is ever going to live their whole life without heartache. So, spending so much time trying to figure out the best way to close the door and throw away the key is useless. Unfortunately, one way or another, at some point, heartache finds its way in. Its a part of life in this big ugly world. But the good news is that God reminds us that this world is not our home. And then He sends His personal guarantee that even when storms come, He will hold us in His arms and protect us. He'll never allow us to hurt more than we can handle.. And ultimately, all the struggles, and all the tears, only make us stronger and better soldiers in His army**.
I'm putting away my pity party decor and stepping into the Word of God, the only place that my time is truly well spent. I never leave God's word feeling empty, sad, or scared. It's filled with the healing power of the Holy Spirit.
So, friends, its time to kick the devil out once and for all. Forget about the past. Its over. Focus on who God is and what He can and will do for you. Take your eyes off of the giant and place your vision back on God. He wants to bless you***. He wants to see you filled with joy and peace. All you have to do is let go and let God have you completely.
*“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that it is granted to you and you will get it." Mark 11:23-24
**"Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Corinthians 4:17
***"And therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of Justice. Blessed are those who wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him." Isaiah 30:18
And even if you trust completely that He is capable, how do you trust that He will, knowing that His plan isn't always the same as our plan.
Do you ever just want to say, "God, can you please just do it my way for a while?"
--This is exactly where I found myself this morning. When scary feelings come to the surface and settle in that irritating place just under my skin, I often find myself in tears asking God to let it be my way for a while.
Now, on the one hand, I know that God's plan is best for me overall because His plan makes me the best servant I can be for His kingdom and that is the ultimate goal; however, what if His plan means that I have to go through more heartache. I'm too scared.
Welcome to my home. It sits directly between a big scary rock and a stupid-looking hard place.
-The rock being my overwhelming desire to live in God's will for me...The big scary part being the part where I have to accept that sometimes God's will might land me in a heap of heartache.
-The hard place being my desire to have a little peace in my life and to just relax for a while. To put my oversized bag of worries and fears in the closet or under the bed and forget that they're there for a while. The stupid-looking part being the part where I see myself creating all these fears and worries out of thin air and yet I stand helplessly unable to stop myself.
And though there are many days where I am certain that I am the lone occupant of this unwelcoming home, my logical side tells me that everyone has their own battle to face. Mine just seems extra big to me because its ALL mine.
I share my story with you to tell you that sometimes God doesn't work in BIG magical miracles. Sometimes He just plops down on the couch next to you and says "Stop being stupid...If you don't like where you home is, move it." Then like the gracious God that He truly is, He also says, "I'll help you. After all, I can move mountains*, you're house really isn't that big."
Man was I being silly. What was I doing? Wasting my whole morning on stupid tears. I was putting on a lovely show for the devil. I'll bet he had a great morning sitting on my couch with me, with a big bucket of popcorn.
Well, sorry to disappoint, stupid devil, but my show is over, and you're being thrown out. See ya.
Like always, my God turned my chin back up to Him and reminded me that no matter what, I'm always safe in His arms. NO ONE is ever going to live their whole life without heartache. So, spending so much time trying to figure out the best way to close the door and throw away the key is useless. Unfortunately, one way or another, at some point, heartache finds its way in. Its a part of life in this big ugly world. But the good news is that God reminds us that this world is not our home. And then He sends His personal guarantee that even when storms come, He will hold us in His arms and protect us. He'll never allow us to hurt more than we can handle.. And ultimately, all the struggles, and all the tears, only make us stronger and better soldiers in His army**.
I'm putting away my pity party decor and stepping into the Word of God, the only place that my time is truly well spent. I never leave God's word feeling empty, sad, or scared. It's filled with the healing power of the Holy Spirit.
So, friends, its time to kick the devil out once and for all. Forget about the past. Its over. Focus on who God is and what He can and will do for you. Take your eyes off of the giant and place your vision back on God. He wants to bless you***. He wants to see you filled with joy and peace. All you have to do is let go and let God have you completely.
*“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that it is granted to you and you will get it." Mark 11:23-24
**"Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Corinthians 4:17
***"And therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of Justice. Blessed are those who wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him." Isaiah 30:18
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Tough Promises
How often do you make promises that you truly intend to keep?
How often do you break promises and tell yourself its not that big of a deal?
Think about the biggest promise you've ever made. What would it take for you to break it? Is it unbreakable? Is there even a such thing?
Before you get too arrogant with your "this is pointless, I'd never break my big promise no matter what happens..." consider the worst thing that could ever happen and then rearrange your promise. How valuable is your big promise to you? What would you sacrifice for it? Your job? Your house? Your marriage?
In Chapter 14 of Facing Your Giants, Lucado talks about big promises.
What if you made a big promise in the spring time (thinking that nothing bad could ever happen to you) and then had to put that promise to the test in the February downpour (where it seems like there's nothing left to fight for). Would you fight the good fight, just to keep the promise? Is your word that valuable to you? Does your word really even matter in the grand scheme of things?
Lucado pushes one of those hard lessons that we try to pretend like God doesn't really teach people. One of those, He allows us to hurt so that we can grow stronger, kind of lessons.
It's not always wonderful news to hear that SO many times in scripture God allows bad things to happen to good people. But the good news IS still there. You just need to keep reading. It all depends on how you look at it. What kind of spin are you willing to put on it?
--God allowed bad things to happen so that he could teach the good people a BIG lesson.
In this case, we're talking about tough promises. So... here's where this all comes together.
Sometimes God allows bad things to happen to good people so that He can give them the opportunity to keep one of those big promises.
-In this day and age, the world's view is usually all about whatever is easiest for you...and that, my friend, can sound pretty good when you're hurting. "Do what's best for you...You deserve it."
-Well, what if what's best for you is to survive the heartache and see it through (no matter how painful) to the other side? What if your biggest victory is right on the other side of that mountain you're facing?
What if you consider it an honor to get to do what God has done for you. He keeps His promise to you no matter how crappy you are to Him. He is allowing you this opportunity to take the road less traveled. Keep your promise even when its hard. Keep that promise even when the world says its not the "smart" thing to do. Keep your promise because your God is bigger than the boogy man and He will see you through to the other side, and your BIG victory is waiting for you there.
I promise.
"Why should you keep your promise? So you can understand the depth of God's love. When you love the unloving, you get a glimpse of what God does for you. When you keep the porch light on for the prodigal child, when you do what is right even though you have been done wrong, when you love the weak and the sick, you do what God does every single moment. Covenant-keeping enrolls you in the post-graduate school of God's love.
Is this why God has given you this challenge? When you love liars, cheaters, and heartbreakers, are you not doing what God has done for us? Pay attention to and take notes on your struggles. God invites you to understand His love."
How often do you break promises and tell yourself its not that big of a deal?
Think about the biggest promise you've ever made. What would it take for you to break it? Is it unbreakable? Is there even a such thing?
Before you get too arrogant with your "this is pointless, I'd never break my big promise no matter what happens..." consider the worst thing that could ever happen and then rearrange your promise. How valuable is your big promise to you? What would you sacrifice for it? Your job? Your house? Your marriage?
In Chapter 14 of Facing Your Giants, Lucado talks about big promises.
What if you made a big promise in the spring time (thinking that nothing bad could ever happen to you) and then had to put that promise to the test in the February downpour (where it seems like there's nothing left to fight for). Would you fight the good fight, just to keep the promise? Is your word that valuable to you? Does your word really even matter in the grand scheme of things?
Lucado pushes one of those hard lessons that we try to pretend like God doesn't really teach people. One of those, He allows us to hurt so that we can grow stronger, kind of lessons.
It's not always wonderful news to hear that SO many times in scripture God allows bad things to happen to good people. But the good news IS still there. You just need to keep reading. It all depends on how you look at it. What kind of spin are you willing to put on it?
--God allowed bad things to happen so that he could teach the good people a BIG lesson.
In this case, we're talking about tough promises. So... here's where this all comes together.
Sometimes God allows bad things to happen to good people so that He can give them the opportunity to keep one of those big promises.
-In this day and age, the world's view is usually all about whatever is easiest for you...and that, my friend, can sound pretty good when you're hurting. "Do what's best for you...You deserve it."
-Well, what if what's best for you is to survive the heartache and see it through (no matter how painful) to the other side? What if your biggest victory is right on the other side of that mountain you're facing?
What if you consider it an honor to get to do what God has done for you. He keeps His promise to you no matter how crappy you are to Him. He is allowing you this opportunity to take the road less traveled. Keep your promise even when its hard. Keep that promise even when the world says its not the "smart" thing to do. Keep your promise because your God is bigger than the boogy man and He will see you through to the other side, and your BIG victory is waiting for you there.
I promise.
"Why should you keep your promise? So you can understand the depth of God's love. When you love the unloving, you get a glimpse of what God does for you. When you keep the porch light on for the prodigal child, when you do what is right even though you have been done wrong, when you love the weak and the sick, you do what God does every single moment. Covenant-keeping enrolls you in the post-graduate school of God's love.
Is this why God has given you this challenge? When you love liars, cheaters, and heartbreakers, are you not doing what God has done for us? Pay attention to and take notes on your struggles. God invites you to understand His love."
Thursday, August 18, 2011
One house Two house Red house Blue house
Well, life has been pretty hectic for us lately. Between cooking a baby, looking for a job, trying to sell our house, and looking for a new house...
Whew... I'm tired.
1. Cooking a baby:
Jack is doing awesome. He is growing really fast now and I can NOT wait for him to get here. He should be here in 20 weeks and 4 days. I hope it flies by! :)
2. Looking for a job:
My job hunting skills are, unfortunately, not as amazing as my baby growing skills. My search, however, is not over. I didn't get the headstart job. I didn't get the middle school job. I'm now hoping to hear back about a job at Bevill teaching a GED course. Other than that I', just waiting for some teachers to get sick so I can sub. ;)
3. Trying to sell our house:
Our house has been officially listed on the market for over a week and NO calls yet. I know. I seem a little impatient. Its just that this human growing inside of me would like to have a permanent home before he makes his grand entrance into the world. Our goal is to sell our house within the next 3-4 months, even if that means taking less than our asking price. Being settled in Jasper before Jack gets here is definitely more important than having brand new furniture. We can always get new furniture later.
4. Looking for a new house:
This one has been the BIGGEST headache for us recently. We started by looking at about a million houses.
--We found one we liked so we made an offer. They countered. We accepted. Sounds perfect, right? WRONG. Unfortunately, when I went for the inspection (and not to mention paid $400) they found that they house had some serious issues. We decided to withdraw our offer.
--Then we decided that we should look into building in that same neighborhood. We LOVE the neighborhood so it seemed like the perfect plan. We met with the builders, picked a plan we loved, and got everything in order. Then the night before we were supposed to sign papers with them, they decided to throw a clause into the contract that we had to pay them $10,000 up front and if our house didn't sell in 8 months, they would sell our new house and keep our money. Thats a BIG negative, Mr. Home Builder.
--That night, we decided to go another route. Earlier, we had made an offer on a bigger house in the same neighborhood that we LOVED but when they countered, we weren't sure about the price. SO...we decided then to go ahead and accept the offer. All we had to do was sign some papers and then wait for our house to sell. It seemed like the best plan of all because we loved that house the most. The next morning, we got a call from our realtor who said that unfortunately, the people who we were building with also owned the new house. They were mad that we canceled our plans to build with them and decided that they were going to make us pay them $12,000 up front to make an offer on the big house. But guess what. If someone else came along while we were waiting for our house to sell, they would sell it and keep our money. Seriously, Mr. Builder? Who do you think you are?
Needless to say, we didn't take that "deal". We just decided that day that we were going to do what we should have been doing all along. Trusting God to give us the PERFECT house for our little growing family. Who knows, maybe our dream house hasn't even been put up for sale yet. We'll see. We're just going to wait for our house to sell and see what God has for us then. I think its the best plan we've had so far. :)
Whew... I'm tired.
1. Cooking a baby:
Jack is doing awesome. He is growing really fast now and I can NOT wait for him to get here. He should be here in 20 weeks and 4 days. I hope it flies by! :)
2. Looking for a job:
My job hunting skills are, unfortunately, not as amazing as my baby growing skills. My search, however, is not over. I didn't get the headstart job. I didn't get the middle school job. I'm now hoping to hear back about a job at Bevill teaching a GED course. Other than that I', just waiting for some teachers to get sick so I can sub. ;)
3. Trying to sell our house:
Our house has been officially listed on the market for over a week and NO calls yet. I know. I seem a little impatient. Its just that this human growing inside of me would like to have a permanent home before he makes his grand entrance into the world. Our goal is to sell our house within the next 3-4 months, even if that means taking less than our asking price. Being settled in Jasper before Jack gets here is definitely more important than having brand new furniture. We can always get new furniture later.
4. Looking for a new house:
This one has been the BIGGEST headache for us recently. We started by looking at about a million houses.
--We found one we liked so we made an offer. They countered. We accepted. Sounds perfect, right? WRONG. Unfortunately, when I went for the inspection (and not to mention paid $400) they found that they house had some serious issues. We decided to withdraw our offer.
--Then we decided that we should look into building in that same neighborhood. We LOVE the neighborhood so it seemed like the perfect plan. We met with the builders, picked a plan we loved, and got everything in order. Then the night before we were supposed to sign papers with them, they decided to throw a clause into the contract that we had to pay them $10,000 up front and if our house didn't sell in 8 months, they would sell our new house and keep our money. Thats a BIG negative, Mr. Home Builder.
--That night, we decided to go another route. Earlier, we had made an offer on a bigger house in the same neighborhood that we LOVED but when they countered, we weren't sure about the price. SO...we decided then to go ahead and accept the offer. All we had to do was sign some papers and then wait for our house to sell. It seemed like the best plan of all because we loved that house the most. The next morning, we got a call from our realtor who said that unfortunately, the people who we were building with also owned the new house. They were mad that we canceled our plans to build with them and decided that they were going to make us pay them $12,000 up front to make an offer on the big house. But guess what. If someone else came along while we were waiting for our house to sell, they would sell it and keep our money. Seriously, Mr. Builder? Who do you think you are?
Needless to say, we didn't take that "deal". We just decided that day that we were going to do what we should have been doing all along. Trusting God to give us the PERFECT house for our little growing family. Who knows, maybe our dream house hasn't even been put up for sale yet. We'll see. We're just going to wait for our house to sell and see what God has for us then. I think its the best plan we've had so far. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The latest...
Wow.
There is so much going on in my life right now.
Here's a quick update.
1. Baby Jack is 21 weeks away from making his first appearance in the world. His mommy and daddy are VERY ready to meet him. We saw the doctor a couple of days ago and she said everything was perfect so far. He weighs 11 ounces right now and he's majorly handsome. :)
2. There is a history teacher job open right now at T.S. Boyd Middle School. I have applied and am hoping and praying that I will get an interview next week. The job closes on Thursday and I would bet that they plan to go to the board with their recommendation that night. How amazing would it be if i got that job?
3. We have finally decided on what to do about a house. Sort of. We found our dream house and have decided that if God decides to bless me with this teaching job then we're going to go for it with the dream house. We love it. We want it. Bad. Time will tell...
4. Yesterday was my last day at BAM. I have worked there for a year and a half and really enjoyed my job most of the time. I just really feel like I've outgrown retail in a big way and am holding onto my faith that God is going to provide me with a better opportunity (ideally that teaching job). We just decided it was time for me to move on.
5. Tonight Josh and I are going to the Kirk Cameron marriage conference called "Love Worth Fighting For". I am SO excited about this conference. We are big fans of Kirk Cameron and just think he's a great leader and teacher and we look forward to hearing his message about love and marriage.
To sum it all up...
A lot of things are still in the air for us. Jack is cooking but I feel like a timer is ticking in my head reminding me we have about five months to figure it out and get settled. Yikes! We're working on it though and we're putting all our trust and faith in God and we just know that as long as we're seeking His will for our lives, its all going to turn out perfectly. :)
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that it is granted to you and you will get it." Mark 11:23-24
There is so much going on in my life right now.
Here's a quick update.
1. Baby Jack is 21 weeks away from making his first appearance in the world. His mommy and daddy are VERY ready to meet him. We saw the doctor a couple of days ago and she said everything was perfect so far. He weighs 11 ounces right now and he's majorly handsome. :)
2. There is a history teacher job open right now at T.S. Boyd Middle School. I have applied and am hoping and praying that I will get an interview next week. The job closes on Thursday and I would bet that they plan to go to the board with their recommendation that night. How amazing would it be if i got that job?
3. We have finally decided on what to do about a house. Sort of. We found our dream house and have decided that if God decides to bless me with this teaching job then we're going to go for it with the dream house. We love it. We want it. Bad. Time will tell...
4. Yesterday was my last day at BAM. I have worked there for a year and a half and really enjoyed my job most of the time. I just really feel like I've outgrown retail in a big way and am holding onto my faith that God is going to provide me with a better opportunity (ideally that teaching job). We just decided it was time for me to move on.
5. Tonight Josh and I are going to the Kirk Cameron marriage conference called "Love Worth Fighting For". I am SO excited about this conference. We are big fans of Kirk Cameron and just think he's a great leader and teacher and we look forward to hearing his message about love and marriage.
To sum it all up...
A lot of things are still in the air for us. Jack is cooking but I feel like a timer is ticking in my head reminding me we have about five months to figure it out and get settled. Yikes! We're working on it though and we're putting all our trust and faith in God and we just know that as long as we're seeking His will for our lives, its all going to turn out perfectly. :)
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that it is granted to you and you will get it." Mark 11:23-24
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
David stumbles, desperate souls always do.
Have you ever been shown something by God that just instantly knocked the breath out of you?
David was desperate. He had come to the realization that Saul wasn't going to give up until he was dead. So he decided to run. And where do so many desperate people run to?
Church. God's house. -- Seeking hope. Seeking comfort. Seeking safety from a cruel judgmental world.
David came to the church looking for two things.
Food and a sword.
The priest Ahimelech had to reach deep into his spirit to come to the conclusion that it was ok to give these things to David even though it didn't exactly comply with the law. Ahimelech went with his gut. And years later, Jesus himself used that very instinct as an example to teach the Pharisees that sometimes we should go with our gut instead of the law of the land, so to speak.
So many times, desperate people walk into our lives looking for sanctuary within us because they know that we call ourselves sons and daughters of Christ but we choose not to help and say that we can't because it would involve us stepping out of our comfort zones. --(A lot of times I think we use the standard that the world set for us as "Law" when it's really just the standard of what people will think of you.)
-What if someone is reaching out to you? Desperate for God.
-----------------------------------------------
"David teaches the desperate to seek help amidst God's people. David stumbles in this story. Desperate souls always do. But at least he stumbles into the right place-- into God's sanctuary, where God meets and ministers to hopeless hearts."
When I read this short passage, I had one of those spiritual experiences that only happen every so often. When you just know that God is speaking straight to you. It literally knocked the breath out of me. I cried. I felt God's spirit telling me exactly what I needed to hear.
So what if someone stumbles. Even if they stumble big. As long as they stumble into the arms of Christ, He will be there to set them back on the right path. Because God's there to minister to the hopeless heart.
Recently I learned the hard way that never giving up takes serious courage and strength. Someone said to me that God chooses to give heavy burdens to people who He knows are strong enough to carry the load. Sometimes God needs us to carry the burden of not giving up on someone who most people would call hopeless. But I know for a fact that there is no such thing as hopeless in the eyes of my God.
So what if I had given up? Where would I be now? I wouldn't care to imagine. Glory be to my God for the strength and courage that saw me through to victory. To Him be ALL the glory, every single bit.
David was desperate. He had come to the realization that Saul wasn't going to give up until he was dead. So he decided to run. And where do so many desperate people run to?
Church. God's house. -- Seeking hope. Seeking comfort. Seeking safety from a cruel judgmental world.
David came to the church looking for two things.
Food and a sword.
The priest Ahimelech had to reach deep into his spirit to come to the conclusion that it was ok to give these things to David even though it didn't exactly comply with the law. Ahimelech went with his gut. And years later, Jesus himself used that very instinct as an example to teach the Pharisees that sometimes we should go with our gut instead of the law of the land, so to speak.
So many times, desperate people walk into our lives looking for sanctuary within us because they know that we call ourselves sons and daughters of Christ but we choose not to help and say that we can't because it would involve us stepping out of our comfort zones. --(A lot of times I think we use the standard that the world set for us as "Law" when it's really just the standard of what people will think of you.)
-What if someone is reaching out to you? Desperate for God.
-----------------------------------------------
"David teaches the desperate to seek help amidst God's people. David stumbles in this story. Desperate souls always do. But at least he stumbles into the right place-- into God's sanctuary, where God meets and ministers to hopeless hearts."
When I read this short passage, I had one of those spiritual experiences that only happen every so often. When you just know that God is speaking straight to you. It literally knocked the breath out of me. I cried. I felt God's spirit telling me exactly what I needed to hear.
So what if someone stumbles. Even if they stumble big. As long as they stumble into the arms of Christ, He will be there to set them back on the right path. Because God's there to minister to the hopeless heart.
Recently I learned the hard way that never giving up takes serious courage and strength. Someone said to me that God chooses to give heavy burdens to people who He knows are strong enough to carry the load. Sometimes God needs us to carry the burden of not giving up on someone who most people would call hopeless. But I know for a fact that there is no such thing as hopeless in the eyes of my God.
So what if I had given up? Where would I be now? I wouldn't care to imagine. Glory be to my God for the strength and courage that saw me through to victory. To Him be ALL the glory, every single bit.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Facing my Giants
For those of you who know me well, you know that I recently experienced a pretty tough trial in my life. It was a time when my faith in God was truly tested. I certainly won't go into any detail but I will say that I have been facing some pretty scary giants in my life since then. Although I didn't know it at the time, what I was experiencing at the height of my situation was only the beginning of the struggle I would face in rebuilding myself as a person through learning to truly let go of my control over my own life and allow God to completely and totally overwhelm me. It has been a real test in my ability to completely surrender to God.
Some days I pass. Some days I fail. Which, I believe, has prompted God to lead me David.
Much like me, sometimes David passed. Sometimes he failed.
David was a real person. God didn't perform any great miracles through David. He allowed David to be ordinary in the most extraordinary way.
God himself called David a man after His own heart. He never made another statement like that about anyone else in the Bible. Not Moses. not Paul. Just David. God saw something extraordinary in David's ability to completely surrender.
David did one particularly extraordinary thing. He faced a giant and was victorious. When no one else would stand against Goliath, David picked up a flat stone and with nothing more than a sling and his sincere and unwavering faith in God, he became a conqueror.
I am reading a book by Max Lucado that I would sincerely recommend to anyone who has a giant to face. Its appropriately titled Facing Your Giants.
In this book, Max compares Goliath to the giant that you are facing in your own life, whatever that may be.
"Your Goliath dominates your day and infiltrates your joy. He awaits you in the morning, torments you at night."
Then he shows how David, in his short battle with Goliath, never gave much thought to Goliath. He, instead, "discussed no one else but God. More than David versus Goliath, this is God-focus versus giant focus." Max reveals how David was able to zone in his focus on God and allow his faith in God to attack the giant for him. He spoke of God's ability to win the battle, not his own.
"The people knew his taunts, size, and strut. They have majored in Goliath. David majors in God. He sees the giant, mind you; he just seeds God more so."
"Giants. We must face them. Yet we need not face them alone. Focus first, and most on God. The times David did, giants fell. The days he didn't, David did." --How powerful is that? God is really speaking to me here. He knew exactly what I needed to hear. His love amazes me.
I believe right now God is teaching me how to take my focus off of my giant. I know that it will still be there. There is no magic spell to make it go away. Only time will heal the wounds that are left in my heart and my spirit. But I can't allow that giant to rule my life. I have been allowing the giant in my life to win. I have been living in the shadow of doubt. I have been slowly allowing Satan to defeat me with fear.
Not anymore.
"Focus on giants--You stumble.
Focus on God--Your giants tumble."
"Lift your eyes, giant-slayer. The God who made a miracle out of David stands ready to make one out of you."
Some days I pass. Some days I fail. Which, I believe, has prompted God to lead me David.
Much like me, sometimes David passed. Sometimes he failed.
David was a real person. God didn't perform any great miracles through David. He allowed David to be ordinary in the most extraordinary way.
God himself called David a man after His own heart. He never made another statement like that about anyone else in the Bible. Not Moses. not Paul. Just David. God saw something extraordinary in David's ability to completely surrender.
David did one particularly extraordinary thing. He faced a giant and was victorious. When no one else would stand against Goliath, David picked up a flat stone and with nothing more than a sling and his sincere and unwavering faith in God, he became a conqueror.
I am reading a book by Max Lucado that I would sincerely recommend to anyone who has a giant to face. Its appropriately titled Facing Your Giants.
In this book, Max compares Goliath to the giant that you are facing in your own life, whatever that may be.
"Your Goliath dominates your day and infiltrates your joy. He awaits you in the morning, torments you at night."
Then he shows how David, in his short battle with Goliath, never gave much thought to Goliath. He, instead, "discussed no one else but God. More than David versus Goliath, this is God-focus versus giant focus." Max reveals how David was able to zone in his focus on God and allow his faith in God to attack the giant for him. He spoke of God's ability to win the battle, not his own.
"The people knew his taunts, size, and strut. They have majored in Goliath. David majors in God. He sees the giant, mind you; he just seeds God more so."
"Giants. We must face them. Yet we need not face them alone. Focus first, and most on God. The times David did, giants fell. The days he didn't, David did." --How powerful is that? God is really speaking to me here. He knew exactly what I needed to hear. His love amazes me.
I believe right now God is teaching me how to take my focus off of my giant. I know that it will still be there. There is no magic spell to make it go away. Only time will heal the wounds that are left in my heart and my spirit. But I can't allow that giant to rule my life. I have been allowing the giant in my life to win. I have been living in the shadow of doubt. I have been slowly allowing Satan to defeat me with fear.
Not anymore.
"Focus on giants--You stumble.
Focus on God--Your giants tumble."
"Lift your eyes, giant-slayer. The God who made a miracle out of David stands ready to make one out of you."
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Baby Odom
I had been having some weird feeling stomach cramps. I just thought I was going to start my period soon.
After a couple of weeks with no change, I got curious. I stopped at Dollar General on the way to work and picked up a generic pregnancy test. I didn't even give it much thought. I knew it would be negative and I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had taken so many pregnancy tests since we decided to start trying to get pregnant and I was always disappointed when they were negative.
I threw the test in my purse and went to work.
That night when I got home from work at around 10:30, I told Josh how I had been feeling. I assured him that I was sure I wasn't pregnant. Then I told him I knew how we could know for sure. I told him about the test in my purse and he told me to take it right then. I could tell he got excited but I was just sure it would be negative. I had done this a thousand times before.
I took the test and left it laying on the bathroom counter. I went back a few minutes later to look at the test and it was a very faded plus sign. I was more confused than anything. I mean, after all, it did come from Dollar General. I told Josh to come look. We just looked at each other for a while. He asked me if it had ever looked like that before. I said nope.
We jumped up right then and ran to Walmart. Full of potential excitement. We were trying not to get our hopes up. We were really nervous. Josh drove like a maniac. We talked the entire way there... "What if?"
When we got there, it was around midnight and there was another couple standing in front of the section. We were looking at pregnancy tests and they were buying preventative products. We found that to be funny. We chose the tests that were in a plastic box that would have to be removed at the register. They were the most expensive but we wanted to be sure.
When we got to the register there was only one aisle open and a couple of people behind us. As the checkout lady tried to open the plastic box, she got frustrated and then called over the loudspeaker for someone to help her with the pregnancy tests. We laughed as the older ladies behind us looked us up and down. We joked that it didn't help that we both look like we're about 17. Josh even joked that he should pretend to call his mom and tell her we were ready to be picked up from Walmart.
We rushed home and I went straight to the bathroom. I had bought a bottle of water at Walmart and Josh forced me to drink some of it so that I would have to pee when I got home. I took both tests at one time and was really pretty sure that I didn't pee enough on either for them to work.
I left the tests on the counter in the bathroom and sat on the edge of our bed with Josh. We closed our eyes, bowed our heads, held hands, and prayed for God's will. If it was time for us to have a baby, we wanted it to be positive. We wanted whatever He had in store for us. We both prayed so hard for His will. Nothing more. Nothing less.
When a few minutes had passed and we were done praying, I asked Josh to let me look. He waited on the bed. I stood at the bathroom counter in total shock when I walked in and saw TWO words. PREGNANT. PREGNANT.
I didn't say anything. I didn't move. I always knew it would happen someday but I had dreamed of that moment for years. How we would react. How we would celebrate. It was so surreal.
I stepped out of the bathroom and just looked at Josh. I didn't say anything. He asked, "Well?" I didn't say anything.
I shook my head. He was shocked too. Had to see it for himself. He came into the bathroom. We both just stared at the tests like we were expecting them to change.
After a few moments, we started to laugh together. Then cry together. Josh took me in his arms. We hugged for the longest time. He held onto me so tight. He was crying. I was overwhelmed with emotion. We laughed and cried together in the bathroom. It was the most glorious moment.
We instantly started to celebrate, talk, and plan together. We couldn't believe it was real. We couldn't wait to tell our families.
The next day, we both went to work. We couldn't wait to tell someone. I told a girl from work who I didn't even know. Josh told a few people from work that day too. We were most excited to tell our parents and Tiffany and Jake.
We left that evening as soon as Josh got home and went to Target. We got a set of onezies made for a boy. Sports themed. They were so tiny. We put them in plain colored gift bags and started with Tiffany on our way out of town. She opened her little bag and pulled out that baby outfit. She couldn't believe it. She cried and we hugged. She was so happy. Then we went to Jasper and stopped at my mom's house first. We gave the bag to her and Olivia helped her open it. She was so happy she couldn't stand it. She cried and laughed and screamed. We explained it to Olivia and she was really happy too. Billy didn't say much. He never does. As we left their house and closed the door behind us, we could hear mom and Olivia screaming from inside. It was an awesome moment. My mom was going to be a grandma for the first time ever. Next we stopped at Jack and Wendy's. It was almost Jack's birthday so we gave the gift to him. As he was opening it, he just knew what it was going to be. He whispered something to Wendy and they both laughed. When he pulled out that green baby onezie, they were so happy. They hugged and Wendy cried. Jackson was thrilled too. He was going to be an Uncle. We celebrated with them for a few minutes and then we moved onto my Aunt Tina's house. She opened her bag and was also in shock. She said "No way!" After we told them, they called Jaxon and Gracie downstairs and we told them too. They were excited too. Gracie said she couldn't wait to hold the baby but only after they clean all the gook off of it. I laughed and agreed. Next we went to my dad's house. He was nervous but excited. We stopped last at Mallory's house. We told her and her mom and laughed and celebrated with them. It was the most amazing day. We talked the whole way home. Everyone was so thrilled. It was amazing. It was really happening.
After a couple of weeks with no change, I got curious. I stopped at Dollar General on the way to work and picked up a generic pregnancy test. I didn't even give it much thought. I knew it would be negative and I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had taken so many pregnancy tests since we decided to start trying to get pregnant and I was always disappointed when they were negative.
I threw the test in my purse and went to work.
That night when I got home from work at around 10:30, I told Josh how I had been feeling. I assured him that I was sure I wasn't pregnant. Then I told him I knew how we could know for sure. I told him about the test in my purse and he told me to take it right then. I could tell he got excited but I was just sure it would be negative. I had done this a thousand times before.
I took the test and left it laying on the bathroom counter. I went back a few minutes later to look at the test and it was a very faded plus sign. I was more confused than anything. I mean, after all, it did come from Dollar General. I told Josh to come look. We just looked at each other for a while. He asked me if it had ever looked like that before. I said nope.
We jumped up right then and ran to Walmart. Full of potential excitement. We were trying not to get our hopes up. We were really nervous. Josh drove like a maniac. We talked the entire way there... "What if?"
When we got there, it was around midnight and there was another couple standing in front of the section. We were looking at pregnancy tests and they were buying preventative products. We found that to be funny. We chose the tests that were in a plastic box that would have to be removed at the register. They were the most expensive but we wanted to be sure.
When we got to the register there was only one aisle open and a couple of people behind us. As the checkout lady tried to open the plastic box, she got frustrated and then called over the loudspeaker for someone to help her with the pregnancy tests. We laughed as the older ladies behind us looked us up and down. We joked that it didn't help that we both look like we're about 17. Josh even joked that he should pretend to call his mom and tell her we were ready to be picked up from Walmart.
We rushed home and I went straight to the bathroom. I had bought a bottle of water at Walmart and Josh forced me to drink some of it so that I would have to pee when I got home. I took both tests at one time and was really pretty sure that I didn't pee enough on either for them to work.
I left the tests on the counter in the bathroom and sat on the edge of our bed with Josh. We closed our eyes, bowed our heads, held hands, and prayed for God's will. If it was time for us to have a baby, we wanted it to be positive. We wanted whatever He had in store for us. We both prayed so hard for His will. Nothing more. Nothing less.
When a few minutes had passed and we were done praying, I asked Josh to let me look. He waited on the bed. I stood at the bathroom counter in total shock when I walked in and saw TWO words. PREGNANT. PREGNANT.
I didn't say anything. I didn't move. I always knew it would happen someday but I had dreamed of that moment for years. How we would react. How we would celebrate. It was so surreal.
I stepped out of the bathroom and just looked at Josh. I didn't say anything. He asked, "Well?" I didn't say anything.
I shook my head. He was shocked too. Had to see it for himself. He came into the bathroom. We both just stared at the tests like we were expecting them to change.
After a few moments, we started to laugh together. Then cry together. Josh took me in his arms. We hugged for the longest time. He held onto me so tight. He was crying. I was overwhelmed with emotion. We laughed and cried together in the bathroom. It was the most glorious moment.
We instantly started to celebrate, talk, and plan together. We couldn't believe it was real. We couldn't wait to tell our families.
The next day, we both went to work. We couldn't wait to tell someone. I told a girl from work who I didn't even know. Josh told a few people from work that day too. We were most excited to tell our parents and Tiffany and Jake.
We left that evening as soon as Josh got home and went to Target. We got a set of onezies made for a boy. Sports themed. They were so tiny. We put them in plain colored gift bags and started with Tiffany on our way out of town. She opened her little bag and pulled out that baby outfit. She couldn't believe it. She cried and we hugged. She was so happy. Then we went to Jasper and stopped at my mom's house first. We gave the bag to her and Olivia helped her open it. She was so happy she couldn't stand it. She cried and laughed and screamed. We explained it to Olivia and she was really happy too. Billy didn't say much. He never does. As we left their house and closed the door behind us, we could hear mom and Olivia screaming from inside. It was an awesome moment. My mom was going to be a grandma for the first time ever. Next we stopped at Jack and Wendy's. It was almost Jack's birthday so we gave the gift to him. As he was opening it, he just knew what it was going to be. He whispered something to Wendy and they both laughed. When he pulled out that green baby onezie, they were so happy. They hugged and Wendy cried. Jackson was thrilled too. He was going to be an Uncle. We celebrated with them for a few minutes and then we moved onto my Aunt Tina's house. She opened her bag and was also in shock. She said "No way!" After we told them, they called Jaxon and Gracie downstairs and we told them too. They were excited too. Gracie said she couldn't wait to hold the baby but only after they clean all the gook off of it. I laughed and agreed. Next we went to my dad's house. He was nervous but excited. We stopped last at Mallory's house. We told her and her mom and laughed and celebrated with them. It was the most amazing day. We talked the whole way home. Everyone was so thrilled. It was amazing. It was really happening.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Are you sure, God?
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
This amazing verse is tattooed on my foot. It looks pretty awesome but I got it for more than just how cool it looks. :) I got it because I was at a time in my life where I needed a constant reminder that my life is about more than me. More than what I want.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our little world: Our family, our job, our plan... That we forget that its not about what we want. Not at all.
This verse is a daily reminder to me that my life is dedicated to something SO MUCH BIGGER than MY plan. Its all about GOD'S plan. And what could possibly be greater than living our God's plan for my life. I know that my simple little dreams could never compare to what God has in store for me.
I had to learn the hard way that sometimes God truly requires that you set YOUR plan aside. COMPLETELY. That is SO much harder than it sounds. Sometimes this is the HARDEST thing you'll ever do. Sometimes God will ask you to sacrifice things that you might have thought were the only thing that mattered.
Now this kind of life-changing sacrifice will take just that... Some serious LIFE CHANGING.
For me, I truly had to rearrange the way that I viewed the world and ALL of my priorities. I used to pray and tell God that He could have all of the areas of my life except one or two that were just WAY too important to me to give over to Him. I mean, what if His plan meant that I would have to lose someone I loved? NO WAY!!
However, what I learned is that if you hold onto something like that and refuse to let God have it, He might just swoop in and take it from you. And you're not going to like that AT ALL.
I am speaking the truth, my friend. I know. I've been there. Quite recently.
What I didn't know at the time, is what God was doing. He was making beauty out of ashes. My ashes.
He had to truly break me down into nothing more than a big messy pile of ashes before He could bring about a new creation.
"Therefore if any person is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away. Behold, the fresh and hew has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17
Now at first, I was really shaken. I was so unsure on how or why God would allow me to hurt and be broken. I prayed and I prayed and nothing seemed to change. Daily, I sought God and I started to grow.
Each day I started to spend more time on my knees, literally. And more time in the word. I started to crave the word in a way that I never have before. I wanted to read my Bible. And somehow, even though the Bible NEVER seemed to relate to my life in the past, EVERY SINGLE scripture began to apply to my life and my situation. How awesome is it that this book that is SO old suddenly seems to feel like it was written just for me?
My passion and fire for God has NEVER burned so bright in my life. He allowed me to be broken down into ashes so that he could created out of those ashes the creature that I was designed to be.
He reformed my dreams and made them into His plans for me.
I eventually, after A LOT of personal struggle, was able to completely and totally give my ONE thing over to God completely. I told him, on a Wednesday night at church that I'll never forget, standing in the pew during worship, nothing fancy...That He could have it ALL. Not just part of it. Not "only if he let it be my way".
Nope. I told Him that He could have it ALL. And guess what. I MEANT IT.
I felt such a release. God lifted the burden off of me and took it SO far away. I no longer felt obligated to protect that thing that I held so dear.
If only I had known all along that if I would simply let God have it, He would protect it...and do SO MUCH BETTER than I ever could.
He then began to transform that thing in my life and turn it into something I NEVER thought it could be. Wow. How awesome is our God? I mean, really. AMAZING!
Now listen close, no one, in the history of the world, has EVER held onto something any tighter than I did.
But my God is SO much bigger than even the biggest of our fears and concerns. He can take your biggest fear and turn it into something that is so miraculous that you will have to experience it for yourself to believe it. My life has been utterly transformed and I am SO thankful that God gave me the chance to experience His true healing restoring power.
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
This amazing verse is tattooed on my foot. It looks pretty awesome but I got it for more than just how cool it looks. :) I got it because I was at a time in my life where I needed a constant reminder that my life is about more than me. More than what I want.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our little world: Our family, our job, our plan... That we forget that its not about what we want. Not at all.
This verse is a daily reminder to me that my life is dedicated to something SO MUCH BIGGER than MY plan. Its all about GOD'S plan. And what could possibly be greater than living our God's plan for my life. I know that my simple little dreams could never compare to what God has in store for me.
I had to learn the hard way that sometimes God truly requires that you set YOUR plan aside. COMPLETELY. That is SO much harder than it sounds. Sometimes this is the HARDEST thing you'll ever do. Sometimes God will ask you to sacrifice things that you might have thought were the only thing that mattered.
Now this kind of life-changing sacrifice will take just that... Some serious LIFE CHANGING.
For me, I truly had to rearrange the way that I viewed the world and ALL of my priorities. I used to pray and tell God that He could have all of the areas of my life except one or two that were just WAY too important to me to give over to Him. I mean, what if His plan meant that I would have to lose someone I loved? NO WAY!!
However, what I learned is that if you hold onto something like that and refuse to let God have it, He might just swoop in and take it from you. And you're not going to like that AT ALL.
I am speaking the truth, my friend. I know. I've been there. Quite recently.
What I didn't know at the time, is what God was doing. He was making beauty out of ashes. My ashes.
He had to truly break me down into nothing more than a big messy pile of ashes before He could bring about a new creation.
"Therefore if any person is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away. Behold, the fresh and hew has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17
Now at first, I was really shaken. I was so unsure on how or why God would allow me to hurt and be broken. I prayed and I prayed and nothing seemed to change. Daily, I sought God and I started to grow.
Each day I started to spend more time on my knees, literally. And more time in the word. I started to crave the word in a way that I never have before. I wanted to read my Bible. And somehow, even though the Bible NEVER seemed to relate to my life in the past, EVERY SINGLE scripture began to apply to my life and my situation. How awesome is it that this book that is SO old suddenly seems to feel like it was written just for me?
My passion and fire for God has NEVER burned so bright in my life. He allowed me to be broken down into ashes so that he could created out of those ashes the creature that I was designed to be.
He reformed my dreams and made them into His plans for me.
I eventually, after A LOT of personal struggle, was able to completely and totally give my ONE thing over to God completely. I told him, on a Wednesday night at church that I'll never forget, standing in the pew during worship, nothing fancy...That He could have it ALL. Not just part of it. Not "only if he let it be my way".
Nope. I told Him that He could have it ALL. And guess what. I MEANT IT.
I felt such a release. God lifted the burden off of me and took it SO far away. I no longer felt obligated to protect that thing that I held so dear.
If only I had known all along that if I would simply let God have it, He would protect it...and do SO MUCH BETTER than I ever could.
He then began to transform that thing in my life and turn it into something I NEVER thought it could be. Wow. How awesome is our God? I mean, really. AMAZING!
Now listen close, no one, in the history of the world, has EVER held onto something any tighter than I did.
But my God is SO much bigger than even the biggest of our fears and concerns. He can take your biggest fear and turn it into something that is so miraculous that you will have to experience it for yourself to believe it. My life has been utterly transformed and I am SO thankful that God gave me the chance to experience His true healing restoring power.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Nationals 2011
I spent this past weekend in Disney World with my AMAZING Cheerleading squad. We got to spend 3 days in the parks and we had a fabulous time. They did an AWESOME job at the competition and I am CRAZY proud of them! :) They came in 6th and are VERY proud to be able to call themselves 6th in the nation!
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