How often do you make promises that you truly intend to keep?
How often do you break promises and tell yourself its not that big of a deal?
Think about the biggest promise you've ever made. What would it take for you to break it? Is it unbreakable? Is there even a such thing?
Before you get too arrogant with your "this is pointless, I'd never break my big promise no matter what happens..." consider the worst thing that could ever happen and then rearrange your promise. How valuable is your big promise to you? What would you sacrifice for it? Your job? Your house? Your marriage?
In Chapter 14 of Facing Your Giants, Lucado talks about big promises.
What if you made a big promise in the spring time (thinking that nothing bad could ever happen to you) and then had to put that promise to the test in the February downpour (where it seems like there's nothing left to fight for). Would you fight the good fight, just to keep the promise? Is your word that valuable to you? Does your word really even matter in the grand scheme of things?
Lucado pushes one of those hard lessons that we try to pretend like God doesn't really teach people. One of those, He allows us to hurt so that we can grow stronger, kind of lessons.
It's not always wonderful news to hear that SO many times in scripture God allows bad things to happen to good people. But the good news IS still there. You just need to keep reading. It all depends on how you look at it. What kind of spin are you willing to put on it?
--God allowed bad things to happen so that he could teach the good people a BIG lesson.
In this case, we're talking about tough promises. So... here's where this all comes together.
Sometimes God allows bad things to happen to good people so that He can give them the opportunity to keep one of those big promises.
-In this day and age, the world's view is usually all about whatever is easiest for you...and that, my friend, can sound pretty good when you're hurting. "Do what's best for you...You deserve it."
-Well, what if what's best for you is to survive the heartache and see it through (no matter how painful) to the other side? What if your biggest victory is right on the other side of that mountain you're facing?
What if you consider it an honor to get to do what God has done for you. He keeps His promise to you no matter how crappy you are to Him. He is allowing you this opportunity to take the road less traveled. Keep your promise even when its hard. Keep that promise even when the world says its not the "smart" thing to do. Keep your promise because your God is bigger than the boogy man and He will see you through to the other side, and your BIG victory is waiting for you there.
I promise.
"Why should you keep your promise? So you can understand the depth of God's love. When you love the unloving, you get a glimpse of what God does for you. When you keep the porch light on for the prodigal child, when you do what is right even though you have been done wrong, when you love the weak and the sick, you do what God does every single moment. Covenant-keeping enrolls you in the post-graduate school of God's love.
Is this why God has given you this challenge? When you love liars, cheaters, and heartbreakers, are you not doing what God has done for us? Pay attention to and take notes on your struggles. God invites you to understand His love."
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
One house Two house Red house Blue house
Well, life has been pretty hectic for us lately. Between cooking a baby, looking for a job, trying to sell our house, and looking for a new house...
Whew... I'm tired.
1. Cooking a baby:
Jack is doing awesome. He is growing really fast now and I can NOT wait for him to get here. He should be here in 20 weeks and 4 days. I hope it flies by! :)
2. Looking for a job:
My job hunting skills are, unfortunately, not as amazing as my baby growing skills. My search, however, is not over. I didn't get the headstart job. I didn't get the middle school job. I'm now hoping to hear back about a job at Bevill teaching a GED course. Other than that I', just waiting for some teachers to get sick so I can sub. ;)
3. Trying to sell our house:
Our house has been officially listed on the market for over a week and NO calls yet. I know. I seem a little impatient. Its just that this human growing inside of me would like to have a permanent home before he makes his grand entrance into the world. Our goal is to sell our house within the next 3-4 months, even if that means taking less than our asking price. Being settled in Jasper before Jack gets here is definitely more important than having brand new furniture. We can always get new furniture later.
4. Looking for a new house:
This one has been the BIGGEST headache for us recently. We started by looking at about a million houses.
--We found one we liked so we made an offer. They countered. We accepted. Sounds perfect, right? WRONG. Unfortunately, when I went for the inspection (and not to mention paid $400) they found that they house had some serious issues. We decided to withdraw our offer.
--Then we decided that we should look into building in that same neighborhood. We LOVE the neighborhood so it seemed like the perfect plan. We met with the builders, picked a plan we loved, and got everything in order. Then the night before we were supposed to sign papers with them, they decided to throw a clause into the contract that we had to pay them $10,000 up front and if our house didn't sell in 8 months, they would sell our new house and keep our money. Thats a BIG negative, Mr. Home Builder.
--That night, we decided to go another route. Earlier, we had made an offer on a bigger house in the same neighborhood that we LOVED but when they countered, we weren't sure about the price. SO...we decided then to go ahead and accept the offer. All we had to do was sign some papers and then wait for our house to sell. It seemed like the best plan of all because we loved that house the most. The next morning, we got a call from our realtor who said that unfortunately, the people who we were building with also owned the new house. They were mad that we canceled our plans to build with them and decided that they were going to make us pay them $12,000 up front to make an offer on the big house. But guess what. If someone else came along while we were waiting for our house to sell, they would sell it and keep our money. Seriously, Mr. Builder? Who do you think you are?
Needless to say, we didn't take that "deal". We just decided that day that we were going to do what we should have been doing all along. Trusting God to give us the PERFECT house for our little growing family. Who knows, maybe our dream house hasn't even been put up for sale yet. We'll see. We're just going to wait for our house to sell and see what God has for us then. I think its the best plan we've had so far. :)
Whew... I'm tired.
1. Cooking a baby:
Jack is doing awesome. He is growing really fast now and I can NOT wait for him to get here. He should be here in 20 weeks and 4 days. I hope it flies by! :)
2. Looking for a job:
My job hunting skills are, unfortunately, not as amazing as my baby growing skills. My search, however, is not over. I didn't get the headstart job. I didn't get the middle school job. I'm now hoping to hear back about a job at Bevill teaching a GED course. Other than that I', just waiting for some teachers to get sick so I can sub. ;)
3. Trying to sell our house:
Our house has been officially listed on the market for over a week and NO calls yet. I know. I seem a little impatient. Its just that this human growing inside of me would like to have a permanent home before he makes his grand entrance into the world. Our goal is to sell our house within the next 3-4 months, even if that means taking less than our asking price. Being settled in Jasper before Jack gets here is definitely more important than having brand new furniture. We can always get new furniture later.
4. Looking for a new house:
This one has been the BIGGEST headache for us recently. We started by looking at about a million houses.
--We found one we liked so we made an offer. They countered. We accepted. Sounds perfect, right? WRONG. Unfortunately, when I went for the inspection (and not to mention paid $400) they found that they house had some serious issues. We decided to withdraw our offer.
--Then we decided that we should look into building in that same neighborhood. We LOVE the neighborhood so it seemed like the perfect plan. We met with the builders, picked a plan we loved, and got everything in order. Then the night before we were supposed to sign papers with them, they decided to throw a clause into the contract that we had to pay them $10,000 up front and if our house didn't sell in 8 months, they would sell our new house and keep our money. Thats a BIG negative, Mr. Home Builder.
--That night, we decided to go another route. Earlier, we had made an offer on a bigger house in the same neighborhood that we LOVED but when they countered, we weren't sure about the price. SO...we decided then to go ahead and accept the offer. All we had to do was sign some papers and then wait for our house to sell. It seemed like the best plan of all because we loved that house the most. The next morning, we got a call from our realtor who said that unfortunately, the people who we were building with also owned the new house. They were mad that we canceled our plans to build with them and decided that they were going to make us pay them $12,000 up front to make an offer on the big house. But guess what. If someone else came along while we were waiting for our house to sell, they would sell it and keep our money. Seriously, Mr. Builder? Who do you think you are?
Needless to say, we didn't take that "deal". We just decided that day that we were going to do what we should have been doing all along. Trusting God to give us the PERFECT house for our little growing family. Who knows, maybe our dream house hasn't even been put up for sale yet. We'll see. We're just going to wait for our house to sell and see what God has for us then. I think its the best plan we've had so far. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The latest...
Wow.
There is so much going on in my life right now.
Here's a quick update.
1. Baby Jack is 21 weeks away from making his first appearance in the world. His mommy and daddy are VERY ready to meet him. We saw the doctor a couple of days ago and she said everything was perfect so far. He weighs 11 ounces right now and he's majorly handsome. :)
2. There is a history teacher job open right now at T.S. Boyd Middle School. I have applied and am hoping and praying that I will get an interview next week. The job closes on Thursday and I would bet that they plan to go to the board with their recommendation that night. How amazing would it be if i got that job?
3. We have finally decided on what to do about a house. Sort of. We found our dream house and have decided that if God decides to bless me with this teaching job then we're going to go for it with the dream house. We love it. We want it. Bad. Time will tell...
4. Yesterday was my last day at BAM. I have worked there for a year and a half and really enjoyed my job most of the time. I just really feel like I've outgrown retail in a big way and am holding onto my faith that God is going to provide me with a better opportunity (ideally that teaching job). We just decided it was time for me to move on.
5. Tonight Josh and I are going to the Kirk Cameron marriage conference called "Love Worth Fighting For". I am SO excited about this conference. We are big fans of Kirk Cameron and just think he's a great leader and teacher and we look forward to hearing his message about love and marriage.
To sum it all up...
A lot of things are still in the air for us. Jack is cooking but I feel like a timer is ticking in my head reminding me we have about five months to figure it out and get settled. Yikes! We're working on it though and we're putting all our trust and faith in God and we just know that as long as we're seeking His will for our lives, its all going to turn out perfectly. :)
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that it is granted to you and you will get it." Mark 11:23-24
There is so much going on in my life right now.
Here's a quick update.
1. Baby Jack is 21 weeks away from making his first appearance in the world. His mommy and daddy are VERY ready to meet him. We saw the doctor a couple of days ago and she said everything was perfect so far. He weighs 11 ounces right now and he's majorly handsome. :)
2. There is a history teacher job open right now at T.S. Boyd Middle School. I have applied and am hoping and praying that I will get an interview next week. The job closes on Thursday and I would bet that they plan to go to the board with their recommendation that night. How amazing would it be if i got that job?
3. We have finally decided on what to do about a house. Sort of. We found our dream house and have decided that if God decides to bless me with this teaching job then we're going to go for it with the dream house. We love it. We want it. Bad. Time will tell...
4. Yesterday was my last day at BAM. I have worked there for a year and a half and really enjoyed my job most of the time. I just really feel like I've outgrown retail in a big way and am holding onto my faith that God is going to provide me with a better opportunity (ideally that teaching job). We just decided it was time for me to move on.
5. Tonight Josh and I are going to the Kirk Cameron marriage conference called "Love Worth Fighting For". I am SO excited about this conference. We are big fans of Kirk Cameron and just think he's a great leader and teacher and we look forward to hearing his message about love and marriage.
To sum it all up...
A lot of things are still in the air for us. Jack is cooking but I feel like a timer is ticking in my head reminding me we have about five months to figure it out and get settled. Yikes! We're working on it though and we're putting all our trust and faith in God and we just know that as long as we're seeking His will for our lives, its all going to turn out perfectly. :)
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that it is granted to you and you will get it." Mark 11:23-24
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
David stumbles, desperate souls always do.
Have you ever been shown something by God that just instantly knocked the breath out of you?
David was desperate. He had come to the realization that Saul wasn't going to give up until he was dead. So he decided to run. And where do so many desperate people run to?
Church. God's house. -- Seeking hope. Seeking comfort. Seeking safety from a cruel judgmental world.
David came to the church looking for two things.
Food and a sword.
The priest Ahimelech had to reach deep into his spirit to come to the conclusion that it was ok to give these things to David even though it didn't exactly comply with the law. Ahimelech went with his gut. And years later, Jesus himself used that very instinct as an example to teach the Pharisees that sometimes we should go with our gut instead of the law of the land, so to speak.
So many times, desperate people walk into our lives looking for sanctuary within us because they know that we call ourselves sons and daughters of Christ but we choose not to help and say that we can't because it would involve us stepping out of our comfort zones. --(A lot of times I think we use the standard that the world set for us as "Law" when it's really just the standard of what people will think of you.)
-What if someone is reaching out to you? Desperate for God.
-----------------------------------------------
"David teaches the desperate to seek help amidst God's people. David stumbles in this story. Desperate souls always do. But at least he stumbles into the right place-- into God's sanctuary, where God meets and ministers to hopeless hearts."
When I read this short passage, I had one of those spiritual experiences that only happen every so often. When you just know that God is speaking straight to you. It literally knocked the breath out of me. I cried. I felt God's spirit telling me exactly what I needed to hear.
So what if someone stumbles. Even if they stumble big. As long as they stumble into the arms of Christ, He will be there to set them back on the right path. Because God's there to minister to the hopeless heart.
Recently I learned the hard way that never giving up takes serious courage and strength. Someone said to me that God chooses to give heavy burdens to people who He knows are strong enough to carry the load. Sometimes God needs us to carry the burden of not giving up on someone who most people would call hopeless. But I know for a fact that there is no such thing as hopeless in the eyes of my God.
So what if I had given up? Where would I be now? I wouldn't care to imagine. Glory be to my God for the strength and courage that saw me through to victory. To Him be ALL the glory, every single bit.
David was desperate. He had come to the realization that Saul wasn't going to give up until he was dead. So he decided to run. And where do so many desperate people run to?
Church. God's house. -- Seeking hope. Seeking comfort. Seeking safety from a cruel judgmental world.
David came to the church looking for two things.
Food and a sword.
The priest Ahimelech had to reach deep into his spirit to come to the conclusion that it was ok to give these things to David even though it didn't exactly comply with the law. Ahimelech went with his gut. And years later, Jesus himself used that very instinct as an example to teach the Pharisees that sometimes we should go with our gut instead of the law of the land, so to speak.
So many times, desperate people walk into our lives looking for sanctuary within us because they know that we call ourselves sons and daughters of Christ but we choose not to help and say that we can't because it would involve us stepping out of our comfort zones. --(A lot of times I think we use the standard that the world set for us as "Law" when it's really just the standard of what people will think of you.)
-What if someone is reaching out to you? Desperate for God.
-----------------------------------------------
"David teaches the desperate to seek help amidst God's people. David stumbles in this story. Desperate souls always do. But at least he stumbles into the right place-- into God's sanctuary, where God meets and ministers to hopeless hearts."
When I read this short passage, I had one of those spiritual experiences that only happen every so often. When you just know that God is speaking straight to you. It literally knocked the breath out of me. I cried. I felt God's spirit telling me exactly what I needed to hear.
So what if someone stumbles. Even if they stumble big. As long as they stumble into the arms of Christ, He will be there to set them back on the right path. Because God's there to minister to the hopeless heart.
Recently I learned the hard way that never giving up takes serious courage and strength. Someone said to me that God chooses to give heavy burdens to people who He knows are strong enough to carry the load. Sometimes God needs us to carry the burden of not giving up on someone who most people would call hopeless. But I know for a fact that there is no such thing as hopeless in the eyes of my God.
So what if I had given up? Where would I be now? I wouldn't care to imagine. Glory be to my God for the strength and courage that saw me through to victory. To Him be ALL the glory, every single bit.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Facing my Giants
For those of you who know me well, you know that I recently experienced a pretty tough trial in my life. It was a time when my faith in God was truly tested. I certainly won't go into any detail but I will say that I have been facing some pretty scary giants in my life since then. Although I didn't know it at the time, what I was experiencing at the height of my situation was only the beginning of the struggle I would face in rebuilding myself as a person through learning to truly let go of my control over my own life and allow God to completely and totally overwhelm me. It has been a real test in my ability to completely surrender to God.
Some days I pass. Some days I fail. Which, I believe, has prompted God to lead me David.
Much like me, sometimes David passed. Sometimes he failed.
David was a real person. God didn't perform any great miracles through David. He allowed David to be ordinary in the most extraordinary way.
God himself called David a man after His own heart. He never made another statement like that about anyone else in the Bible. Not Moses. not Paul. Just David. God saw something extraordinary in David's ability to completely surrender.
David did one particularly extraordinary thing. He faced a giant and was victorious. When no one else would stand against Goliath, David picked up a flat stone and with nothing more than a sling and his sincere and unwavering faith in God, he became a conqueror.
I am reading a book by Max Lucado that I would sincerely recommend to anyone who has a giant to face. Its appropriately titled Facing Your Giants.
In this book, Max compares Goliath to the giant that you are facing in your own life, whatever that may be.
"Your Goliath dominates your day and infiltrates your joy. He awaits you in the morning, torments you at night."
Then he shows how David, in his short battle with Goliath, never gave much thought to Goliath. He, instead, "discussed no one else but God. More than David versus Goliath, this is God-focus versus giant focus." Max reveals how David was able to zone in his focus on God and allow his faith in God to attack the giant for him. He spoke of God's ability to win the battle, not his own.
"The people knew his taunts, size, and strut. They have majored in Goliath. David majors in God. He sees the giant, mind you; he just seeds God more so."
"Giants. We must face them. Yet we need not face them alone. Focus first, and most on God. The times David did, giants fell. The days he didn't, David did." --How powerful is that? God is really speaking to me here. He knew exactly what I needed to hear. His love amazes me.
I believe right now God is teaching me how to take my focus off of my giant. I know that it will still be there. There is no magic spell to make it go away. Only time will heal the wounds that are left in my heart and my spirit. But I can't allow that giant to rule my life. I have been allowing the giant in my life to win. I have been living in the shadow of doubt. I have been slowly allowing Satan to defeat me with fear.
Not anymore.
"Focus on giants--You stumble.
Focus on God--Your giants tumble."
"Lift your eyes, giant-slayer. The God who made a miracle out of David stands ready to make one out of you."
Some days I pass. Some days I fail. Which, I believe, has prompted God to lead me David.
Much like me, sometimes David passed. Sometimes he failed.
David was a real person. God didn't perform any great miracles through David. He allowed David to be ordinary in the most extraordinary way.
God himself called David a man after His own heart. He never made another statement like that about anyone else in the Bible. Not Moses. not Paul. Just David. God saw something extraordinary in David's ability to completely surrender.
David did one particularly extraordinary thing. He faced a giant and was victorious. When no one else would stand against Goliath, David picked up a flat stone and with nothing more than a sling and his sincere and unwavering faith in God, he became a conqueror.
I am reading a book by Max Lucado that I would sincerely recommend to anyone who has a giant to face. Its appropriately titled Facing Your Giants.
In this book, Max compares Goliath to the giant that you are facing in your own life, whatever that may be.
"Your Goliath dominates your day and infiltrates your joy. He awaits you in the morning, torments you at night."
Then he shows how David, in his short battle with Goliath, never gave much thought to Goliath. He, instead, "discussed no one else but God. More than David versus Goliath, this is God-focus versus giant focus." Max reveals how David was able to zone in his focus on God and allow his faith in God to attack the giant for him. He spoke of God's ability to win the battle, not his own.
"The people knew his taunts, size, and strut. They have majored in Goliath. David majors in God. He sees the giant, mind you; he just seeds God more so."
"Giants. We must face them. Yet we need not face them alone. Focus first, and most on God. The times David did, giants fell. The days he didn't, David did." --How powerful is that? God is really speaking to me here. He knew exactly what I needed to hear. His love amazes me.
I believe right now God is teaching me how to take my focus off of my giant. I know that it will still be there. There is no magic spell to make it go away. Only time will heal the wounds that are left in my heart and my spirit. But I can't allow that giant to rule my life. I have been allowing the giant in my life to win. I have been living in the shadow of doubt. I have been slowly allowing Satan to defeat me with fear.
Not anymore.
"Focus on giants--You stumble.
Focus on God--Your giants tumble."
"Lift your eyes, giant-slayer. The God who made a miracle out of David stands ready to make one out of you."
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Baby Odom
I had been having some weird feeling stomach cramps. I just thought I was going to start my period soon.
After a couple of weeks with no change, I got curious. I stopped at Dollar General on the way to work and picked up a generic pregnancy test. I didn't even give it much thought. I knew it would be negative and I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had taken so many pregnancy tests since we decided to start trying to get pregnant and I was always disappointed when they were negative.
I threw the test in my purse and went to work.
That night when I got home from work at around 10:30, I told Josh how I had been feeling. I assured him that I was sure I wasn't pregnant. Then I told him I knew how we could know for sure. I told him about the test in my purse and he told me to take it right then. I could tell he got excited but I was just sure it would be negative. I had done this a thousand times before.
I took the test and left it laying on the bathroom counter. I went back a few minutes later to look at the test and it was a very faded plus sign. I was more confused than anything. I mean, after all, it did come from Dollar General. I told Josh to come look. We just looked at each other for a while. He asked me if it had ever looked like that before. I said nope.
We jumped up right then and ran to Walmart. Full of potential excitement. We were trying not to get our hopes up. We were really nervous. Josh drove like a maniac. We talked the entire way there... "What if?"
When we got there, it was around midnight and there was another couple standing in front of the section. We were looking at pregnancy tests and they were buying preventative products. We found that to be funny. We chose the tests that were in a plastic box that would have to be removed at the register. They were the most expensive but we wanted to be sure.
When we got to the register there was only one aisle open and a couple of people behind us. As the checkout lady tried to open the plastic box, she got frustrated and then called over the loudspeaker for someone to help her with the pregnancy tests. We laughed as the older ladies behind us looked us up and down. We joked that it didn't help that we both look like we're about 17. Josh even joked that he should pretend to call his mom and tell her we were ready to be picked up from Walmart.
We rushed home and I went straight to the bathroom. I had bought a bottle of water at Walmart and Josh forced me to drink some of it so that I would have to pee when I got home. I took both tests at one time and was really pretty sure that I didn't pee enough on either for them to work.
I left the tests on the counter in the bathroom and sat on the edge of our bed with Josh. We closed our eyes, bowed our heads, held hands, and prayed for God's will. If it was time for us to have a baby, we wanted it to be positive. We wanted whatever He had in store for us. We both prayed so hard for His will. Nothing more. Nothing less.
When a few minutes had passed and we were done praying, I asked Josh to let me look. He waited on the bed. I stood at the bathroom counter in total shock when I walked in and saw TWO words. PREGNANT. PREGNANT.
I didn't say anything. I didn't move. I always knew it would happen someday but I had dreamed of that moment for years. How we would react. How we would celebrate. It was so surreal.
I stepped out of the bathroom and just looked at Josh. I didn't say anything. He asked, "Well?" I didn't say anything.
I shook my head. He was shocked too. Had to see it for himself. He came into the bathroom. We both just stared at the tests like we were expecting them to change.
After a few moments, we started to laugh together. Then cry together. Josh took me in his arms. We hugged for the longest time. He held onto me so tight. He was crying. I was overwhelmed with emotion. We laughed and cried together in the bathroom. It was the most glorious moment.
We instantly started to celebrate, talk, and plan together. We couldn't believe it was real. We couldn't wait to tell our families.
The next day, we both went to work. We couldn't wait to tell someone. I told a girl from work who I didn't even know. Josh told a few people from work that day too. We were most excited to tell our parents and Tiffany and Jake.
We left that evening as soon as Josh got home and went to Target. We got a set of onezies made for a boy. Sports themed. They were so tiny. We put them in plain colored gift bags and started with Tiffany on our way out of town. She opened her little bag and pulled out that baby outfit. She couldn't believe it. She cried and we hugged. She was so happy. Then we went to Jasper and stopped at my mom's house first. We gave the bag to her and Olivia helped her open it. She was so happy she couldn't stand it. She cried and laughed and screamed. We explained it to Olivia and she was really happy too. Billy didn't say much. He never does. As we left their house and closed the door behind us, we could hear mom and Olivia screaming from inside. It was an awesome moment. My mom was going to be a grandma for the first time ever. Next we stopped at Jack and Wendy's. It was almost Jack's birthday so we gave the gift to him. As he was opening it, he just knew what it was going to be. He whispered something to Wendy and they both laughed. When he pulled out that green baby onezie, they were so happy. They hugged and Wendy cried. Jackson was thrilled too. He was going to be an Uncle. We celebrated with them for a few minutes and then we moved onto my Aunt Tina's house. She opened her bag and was also in shock. She said "No way!" After we told them, they called Jaxon and Gracie downstairs and we told them too. They were excited too. Gracie said she couldn't wait to hold the baby but only after they clean all the gook off of it. I laughed and agreed. Next we went to my dad's house. He was nervous but excited. We stopped last at Mallory's house. We told her and her mom and laughed and celebrated with them. It was the most amazing day. We talked the whole way home. Everyone was so thrilled. It was amazing. It was really happening.
After a couple of weeks with no change, I got curious. I stopped at Dollar General on the way to work and picked up a generic pregnancy test. I didn't even give it much thought. I knew it would be negative and I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had taken so many pregnancy tests since we decided to start trying to get pregnant and I was always disappointed when they were negative.
I threw the test in my purse and went to work.
That night when I got home from work at around 10:30, I told Josh how I had been feeling. I assured him that I was sure I wasn't pregnant. Then I told him I knew how we could know for sure. I told him about the test in my purse and he told me to take it right then. I could tell he got excited but I was just sure it would be negative. I had done this a thousand times before.
I took the test and left it laying on the bathroom counter. I went back a few minutes later to look at the test and it was a very faded plus sign. I was more confused than anything. I mean, after all, it did come from Dollar General. I told Josh to come look. We just looked at each other for a while. He asked me if it had ever looked like that before. I said nope.
We jumped up right then and ran to Walmart. Full of potential excitement. We were trying not to get our hopes up. We were really nervous. Josh drove like a maniac. We talked the entire way there... "What if?"
When we got there, it was around midnight and there was another couple standing in front of the section. We were looking at pregnancy tests and they were buying preventative products. We found that to be funny. We chose the tests that were in a plastic box that would have to be removed at the register. They were the most expensive but we wanted to be sure.
When we got to the register there was only one aisle open and a couple of people behind us. As the checkout lady tried to open the plastic box, she got frustrated and then called over the loudspeaker for someone to help her with the pregnancy tests. We laughed as the older ladies behind us looked us up and down. We joked that it didn't help that we both look like we're about 17. Josh even joked that he should pretend to call his mom and tell her we were ready to be picked up from Walmart.
We rushed home and I went straight to the bathroom. I had bought a bottle of water at Walmart and Josh forced me to drink some of it so that I would have to pee when I got home. I took both tests at one time and was really pretty sure that I didn't pee enough on either for them to work.
I left the tests on the counter in the bathroom and sat on the edge of our bed with Josh. We closed our eyes, bowed our heads, held hands, and prayed for God's will. If it was time for us to have a baby, we wanted it to be positive. We wanted whatever He had in store for us. We both prayed so hard for His will. Nothing more. Nothing less.
When a few minutes had passed and we were done praying, I asked Josh to let me look. He waited on the bed. I stood at the bathroom counter in total shock when I walked in and saw TWO words. PREGNANT. PREGNANT.
I didn't say anything. I didn't move. I always knew it would happen someday but I had dreamed of that moment for years. How we would react. How we would celebrate. It was so surreal.
I stepped out of the bathroom and just looked at Josh. I didn't say anything. He asked, "Well?" I didn't say anything.
I shook my head. He was shocked too. Had to see it for himself. He came into the bathroom. We both just stared at the tests like we were expecting them to change.
After a few moments, we started to laugh together. Then cry together. Josh took me in his arms. We hugged for the longest time. He held onto me so tight. He was crying. I was overwhelmed with emotion. We laughed and cried together in the bathroom. It was the most glorious moment.
We instantly started to celebrate, talk, and plan together. We couldn't believe it was real. We couldn't wait to tell our families.
The next day, we both went to work. We couldn't wait to tell someone. I told a girl from work who I didn't even know. Josh told a few people from work that day too. We were most excited to tell our parents and Tiffany and Jake.
We left that evening as soon as Josh got home and went to Target. We got a set of onezies made for a boy. Sports themed. They were so tiny. We put them in plain colored gift bags and started with Tiffany on our way out of town. She opened her little bag and pulled out that baby outfit. She couldn't believe it. She cried and we hugged. She was so happy. Then we went to Jasper and stopped at my mom's house first. We gave the bag to her and Olivia helped her open it. She was so happy she couldn't stand it. She cried and laughed and screamed. We explained it to Olivia and she was really happy too. Billy didn't say much. He never does. As we left their house and closed the door behind us, we could hear mom and Olivia screaming from inside. It was an awesome moment. My mom was going to be a grandma for the first time ever. Next we stopped at Jack and Wendy's. It was almost Jack's birthday so we gave the gift to him. As he was opening it, he just knew what it was going to be. He whispered something to Wendy and they both laughed. When he pulled out that green baby onezie, they were so happy. They hugged and Wendy cried. Jackson was thrilled too. He was going to be an Uncle. We celebrated with them for a few minutes and then we moved onto my Aunt Tina's house. She opened her bag and was also in shock. She said "No way!" After we told them, they called Jaxon and Gracie downstairs and we told them too. They were excited too. Gracie said she couldn't wait to hold the baby but only after they clean all the gook off of it. I laughed and agreed. Next we went to my dad's house. He was nervous but excited. We stopped last at Mallory's house. We told her and her mom and laughed and celebrated with them. It was the most amazing day. We talked the whole way home. Everyone was so thrilled. It was amazing. It was really happening.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Are you sure, God?
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
This amazing verse is tattooed on my foot. It looks pretty awesome but I got it for more than just how cool it looks. :) I got it because I was at a time in my life where I needed a constant reminder that my life is about more than me. More than what I want.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our little world: Our family, our job, our plan... That we forget that its not about what we want. Not at all.
This verse is a daily reminder to me that my life is dedicated to something SO MUCH BIGGER than MY plan. Its all about GOD'S plan. And what could possibly be greater than living our God's plan for my life. I know that my simple little dreams could never compare to what God has in store for me.
I had to learn the hard way that sometimes God truly requires that you set YOUR plan aside. COMPLETELY. That is SO much harder than it sounds. Sometimes this is the HARDEST thing you'll ever do. Sometimes God will ask you to sacrifice things that you might have thought were the only thing that mattered.
Now this kind of life-changing sacrifice will take just that... Some serious LIFE CHANGING.
For me, I truly had to rearrange the way that I viewed the world and ALL of my priorities. I used to pray and tell God that He could have all of the areas of my life except one or two that were just WAY too important to me to give over to Him. I mean, what if His plan meant that I would have to lose someone I loved? NO WAY!!
However, what I learned is that if you hold onto something like that and refuse to let God have it, He might just swoop in and take it from you. And you're not going to like that AT ALL.
I am speaking the truth, my friend. I know. I've been there. Quite recently.
What I didn't know at the time, is what God was doing. He was making beauty out of ashes. My ashes.
He had to truly break me down into nothing more than a big messy pile of ashes before He could bring about a new creation.
"Therefore if any person is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away. Behold, the fresh and hew has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17
Now at first, I was really shaken. I was so unsure on how or why God would allow me to hurt and be broken. I prayed and I prayed and nothing seemed to change. Daily, I sought God and I started to grow.
Each day I started to spend more time on my knees, literally. And more time in the word. I started to crave the word in a way that I never have before. I wanted to read my Bible. And somehow, even though the Bible NEVER seemed to relate to my life in the past, EVERY SINGLE scripture began to apply to my life and my situation. How awesome is it that this book that is SO old suddenly seems to feel like it was written just for me?
My passion and fire for God has NEVER burned so bright in my life. He allowed me to be broken down into ashes so that he could created out of those ashes the creature that I was designed to be.
He reformed my dreams and made them into His plans for me.
I eventually, after A LOT of personal struggle, was able to completely and totally give my ONE thing over to God completely. I told him, on a Wednesday night at church that I'll never forget, standing in the pew during worship, nothing fancy...That He could have it ALL. Not just part of it. Not "only if he let it be my way".
Nope. I told Him that He could have it ALL. And guess what. I MEANT IT.
I felt such a release. God lifted the burden off of me and took it SO far away. I no longer felt obligated to protect that thing that I held so dear.
If only I had known all along that if I would simply let God have it, He would protect it...and do SO MUCH BETTER than I ever could.
He then began to transform that thing in my life and turn it into something I NEVER thought it could be. Wow. How awesome is our God? I mean, really. AMAZING!
Now listen close, no one, in the history of the world, has EVER held onto something any tighter than I did.
But my God is SO much bigger than even the biggest of our fears and concerns. He can take your biggest fear and turn it into something that is so miraculous that you will have to experience it for yourself to believe it. My life has been utterly transformed and I am SO thankful that God gave me the chance to experience His true healing restoring power.
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
This amazing verse is tattooed on my foot. It looks pretty awesome but I got it for more than just how cool it looks. :) I got it because I was at a time in my life where I needed a constant reminder that my life is about more than me. More than what I want.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our little world: Our family, our job, our plan... That we forget that its not about what we want. Not at all.
This verse is a daily reminder to me that my life is dedicated to something SO MUCH BIGGER than MY plan. Its all about GOD'S plan. And what could possibly be greater than living our God's plan for my life. I know that my simple little dreams could never compare to what God has in store for me.
I had to learn the hard way that sometimes God truly requires that you set YOUR plan aside. COMPLETELY. That is SO much harder than it sounds. Sometimes this is the HARDEST thing you'll ever do. Sometimes God will ask you to sacrifice things that you might have thought were the only thing that mattered.
Now this kind of life-changing sacrifice will take just that... Some serious LIFE CHANGING.
For me, I truly had to rearrange the way that I viewed the world and ALL of my priorities. I used to pray and tell God that He could have all of the areas of my life except one or two that were just WAY too important to me to give over to Him. I mean, what if His plan meant that I would have to lose someone I loved? NO WAY!!
However, what I learned is that if you hold onto something like that and refuse to let God have it, He might just swoop in and take it from you. And you're not going to like that AT ALL.
I am speaking the truth, my friend. I know. I've been there. Quite recently.
What I didn't know at the time, is what God was doing. He was making beauty out of ashes. My ashes.
He had to truly break me down into nothing more than a big messy pile of ashes before He could bring about a new creation.
"Therefore if any person is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away. Behold, the fresh and hew has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17
Now at first, I was really shaken. I was so unsure on how or why God would allow me to hurt and be broken. I prayed and I prayed and nothing seemed to change. Daily, I sought God and I started to grow.
Each day I started to spend more time on my knees, literally. And more time in the word. I started to crave the word in a way that I never have before. I wanted to read my Bible. And somehow, even though the Bible NEVER seemed to relate to my life in the past, EVERY SINGLE scripture began to apply to my life and my situation. How awesome is it that this book that is SO old suddenly seems to feel like it was written just for me?
My passion and fire for God has NEVER burned so bright in my life. He allowed me to be broken down into ashes so that he could created out of those ashes the creature that I was designed to be.
He reformed my dreams and made them into His plans for me.
I eventually, after A LOT of personal struggle, was able to completely and totally give my ONE thing over to God completely. I told him, on a Wednesday night at church that I'll never forget, standing in the pew during worship, nothing fancy...That He could have it ALL. Not just part of it. Not "only if he let it be my way".
Nope. I told Him that He could have it ALL. And guess what. I MEANT IT.
I felt such a release. God lifted the burden off of me and took it SO far away. I no longer felt obligated to protect that thing that I held so dear.
If only I had known all along that if I would simply let God have it, He would protect it...and do SO MUCH BETTER than I ever could.
He then began to transform that thing in my life and turn it into something I NEVER thought it could be. Wow. How awesome is our God? I mean, really. AMAZING!
Now listen close, no one, in the history of the world, has EVER held onto something any tighter than I did.
But my God is SO much bigger than even the biggest of our fears and concerns. He can take your biggest fear and turn it into something that is so miraculous that you will have to experience it for yourself to believe it. My life has been utterly transformed and I am SO thankful that God gave me the chance to experience His true healing restoring power.
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